I'm gonna make it hard for you
by zinthafan
Summary: Edward tells Bella he's going 2 leave her but Bella, expecting this goes 2 some actions where she's at a point w Alice changes her seconds before she dies Bella lives the rest of her life in angst, hating him more than ever 4not coming2 her rescue COMPLET
1. Chapter 1

**Memo: I want to advertise my other story here- it's your fault- sorry- but I have to- **

**and im not really sure how often I can update on this one...just want to add that in**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer called the police on me...apparently I'm stealing "copy righted" material..**

**Edward's view**

I would have to tell her soon, I knew that. She was pacing up and down the hall, thinking really hard on something which I already knew was coming. I could tell really easily now.

I knew this time was different however, she had a look of determination in her eyes I hadn't seen before. I was lying on the couch, watching her for what seemed like hours, but had only been minutes. I knew I would miss this sight immensily, no matter what ever happened to me...

I suddenly got up- at my regular speed- and popped up in front of her face.

"Boo," I managed to say, just before she screamed. She fell down and tripped over herself.

"Edward," she warned, "don't ever do that again..."

"Don't worry Bella," I said softly, making sure she couldn't here, "I won't."

"Edward," she whispered. I thought for a minute that she had heard, but to my relief she hadn't. "We need to talk."

I didn't want to get to this part right now, but I knew I would have to. After that incident which I knew I would never forgive myself over (Note: you probably would have to read Stephenie Meyer's first chapter of new moon- or at least the end where she cuts her finger and suddenly sees "six ravenous vampires" around her- but I just summed it up, so now u don't have to- don't know why you wouldn't want to though- wow that was long). I knew that I would have to leave her, if not now, then I would harm her, perhaps kill her, or worse; turn her. I didn't want either of those things.

"It was my fault," she started chanting, quickly, making sure I wouldn't interrupt. "It's all my fault. I shouldn't have done that in the first place- I should have been more-"

I silenced her at that point, putting a finger to her lips as she lay on the ground, and then picked her up, wanting to breathe in her scent for one last time. She never continued on as I said this.

"I love you Bella," I whispered- this time making sure that she could here- and continued. "I want you to know that there never was a woman before, nor will there be one after that I will love more than you. But Bella," I sighed. I didn't want to raise her hopes- as I could see I was unfortunately doing- that I was proposing to her. Since I was doing the farthest thing from it. I didn't want her to know that at this moment though as I saw her have a sharp intake of breath and squeal.

"Ooh Edward,' she cooed. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" She grabbed my face and kissed it, and then immediately pulled back. "What is it," she said as she saw that I had turned my head.

"I have to go Bella," I said. "I don't want to hurt you anymore...you have to understand that."

I didn't get the reaction I was expecting however, since she was just laughing, cruelly.

"But Edward," she cooed angrily, rubbing her hand against my temple, "_you're _the one that said you were going to find a way to kill yourself. _You're _the one that said how easy suicide for a human was"- I noticed there was a moment of hesitation on her part- "_You're _the one who just said that he loved me, and I'm the one who just said that I love you too." I noticed that she was getting breathless.

"I love you Bella," I said, placing her down on the couch behind of me. "But I have to go. Good bye Bella." I said, looking to see her once more. I saw her angry- but then I noticed a moment of determination in her eyes again.

I started to advance toward the exit, in human pace, when I stopped to hear what she would say next. She didn't though. I noticed that the laughing had returned. Even crueller this time.

"You think it's that _easy," _she snickered. "That I'll just let you _go! _I knew you would say this Edward. I'm not stupid, even though you may think I am. I-'

I went back to her and stopped her. "Stop doing this Bella," I said firmly. "You know I have to go. Don't make this any harder than it already is for me." I got up and went back towards the exit, but I noticed she had gotten up again, and was twiddling her fingers behind her back.

"_You _either change me Edward," she said, "or you can get someone to do it for you. _You _can end my life, or I'll end my own." I suddenly saw what was behind her back. At that moment, my cell phone rang as well, but I ignored it. I couldn't get over the fact, that I had just missed the fact that my Bella had stuck a knife in her own back. I had never taken her to be a suicide type of girl. I also noticed how much blood was coming from her. My senses told me to give in- but I was due to hunt right after I left her. She wanted me to kill her. And I knew that the hospital would be too far away to take her too. I gulped and went her way.

**NOTE: I'm trying to make this a really unpredictable story. I have no idea how it's working out, but as the next few chapters go on- pleaaaaaaaase tell me...REVIEW!**


	2. a joke

**Memo:** Yeah, I really understand how she can't be that psychotic (AND I KNOW THAT)- just wanted to make that part clear…but it is going to change or something…

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer has taken away all our rights and claims to Twilight…unfortunately…

**Bella's view**

I stood there, dumbfounded, not believing that he would be that gullible. Of course, I knew what I had done had not been that bad either.

I had been mad at him for what seemed like days, and then I found this to be the only way to make him see reasoning.

I honestly couldn't believe he'd be that gullible. I had sat and cried for what seemed like days to me- and I had only come up with this. I knew it was pathetic.

**Edward's view**

When I began to near her, I saw a flick of anger shine in her eyes. I saw that she was yet standing up, and I immediately realized that I had been made a fool out of.

She _hadn't _tried to kill herself. All she had done was take a pocket knife and stick it into a container or so of blood. But I knew that part of this blood was her own- and I knew due to my own urges that I would have been mistaken that easily.

I could not believe that she had pulled one past me. Earlier, I had thought that the bubble that she was always in- the one in which she acted uncommonly _cool _had caught up to her at last. And yet now I know that I had been mistaken.

"Bella," I moaned, running to her- at human pace not to startle her. "Don't do that on me," I sighed.

She was down on her knees and sobbing, what seemed like uncontrollably. "I'm sorry Edward," she said. "But I saw that as the only way-"noticed that she wasn't saying this to me- but at the wall with her face turned- "to make you realize that I would do the same exact thing for you Edward. I won't lie to you," she said, now her sobs were tearless. "I haven't forgotten what you had said to me (Note: he had told her in the first chapter that Stephenie Meyer had made out that he would have killed himself by angering some group if she had died). I'd do the same for you Edward," she said, now looking at me. I simply sat by her side, holding her waist.

"Bella," I said. "Don't you _ever _do anything that would harm yourself for me. _Ever._ Do you understand?" I asked her.

"I would never commit suicide Edward," she said squeezing my hand, "because you're right here. But Edward," I noticed now that she was looking intently at me- with a look of determination as well-"I would find a way to be with you. One way or another."

"Bella," I said, giving up. "You know that I would never turn you, but if you-"

She stopped me, putting her hand up as to silence me. "You either turn me or find someone else to turn me. Either way," she shot, "I will be turned, unless the other person that _I _go to, chooses to kill me instead."

I froze at her words. "Alice," I stuttered. "I could probably get Alice to turn you," I said, shaken. I could not believe what she was saying.

"Besides Edward," she rang, victoriously, "I had always thought that our relationship since James or whatever had gotten a bit boring- like other couples," she beamed.

"Ha ha," I said now laughing myself. I could not believe that I had just agreed to get Alice to turn her. "When," I asked, knowing fully well that she knew what I was asking.

"As soon as you can."

"Okay."

"Okay?" she asked me.

"Okay _Bella," _I replied, kissing her forehead, knowing what I would have to do. "but I have to go-"

I noticed that she had stopped me once more. "You know the show Angel?" she asked me. I nodded. "Then you would also know that Angel drank pigs blood, and I-"

"This time I'll take the liberty of stopping you Bella," I said tersely, "you may be worth a lot to me, but definitely _not _enough to make me drink _pig's blood,"_ I shot out in disgust.

"Fine," she replied, pouting. "What am I supposed do with it then."

"Silly Bella," I replied, shaking my head. "Drink it yourself. You should learn how the taste of blood is now," I left, laughing, fully aware that this would probably be the last time that I would ever see her. I noticed that she had thrown a pillow at me, laughing herself. I knew I would keep this image in my mind for however long I could. Kissing her hand, I sped off.

**NOTE:** THIS IS, TO CLARIFY THINGS- EDWARD'S LEAVING HER AND SHE THINKS THAT HES GOING TO GET ALICE TO CHANGE HER

PLEASEEEEEEE REVIEW!


	3. Abandoned

Memo: SO sorry it took me so long to update- if you've read my other story- it's your fault- you'd know that I was in Montreal which is an island? The story should start off from here technically and the previous two chapters were only the beginning of the beginning and this one should start to lead it off a bit-

Stats: Apparently I've had over 600 hits and less than 15 reviews- that's not really that good- but I'm on the alert list of **10 **people which I honestly can't believe they fill up their emails with my updates! Ohmigod- I couldn't believe it when I read that- and my two chapter story- less than 2,000 words story is on two people's favorite list- which is another big wow for me….THANK YOU TO ALL THESE PEOPLE

Disclaimer: My claim is that Stephenie Meyer stole my story…and now I'm trying to find a lawyer to help me sue her for over 500k , although it's a bit difficult finding one who believes that my case is even a tiny _bit_ legitimate…lol

**Bella's view**

My hand never seemed to stop burning after his lips touched it- the feeling of an electric volt surging through my body returned once again like it always did when he touched me. I didn't know why I was concentrating on that however…there were so many more things that were important. Like him changing me for instance- the number one thing on my list. What I would do about it…what I would tell Charlie…and how I would be with Edward forever…that one was the only one that seemed to continuously flash in my mind as he walked out of my house hurriedly at human pace…

"Edward," I called out, stopping for a few short moments. He turned around to look at me, his eyes a smoldering my own- since I couldn't believe that they could have gotten any lighter. "I love you," I cried to him, from the couch.

"I love you to Bella," he said, looking at me longingly. He was probably trying to remember how I was like a human, I giggled, putting this face into my mind forever. The stunt I had pulled earlier seemed stupider to me by the minute…

"See you soon then," I sang happily, a smile growing on my lips.

"If you don't find yourself in an accident by that time, then yes," he replied curtly. We both found ourselves laughing at that- but within seconds of myself opening my eyes I found that he was gone and that the only person doing the laughing was myself. At least, I thought, we would have the next thousands of years or something to do that together, I thought, myself getting giddier by the moment.

I was still laughing however, it didn't matter to me even if it was by myself. I was so happy, and no one could ever take that away from me I knew. I knew that perhaps I would never be this happy again. I combed my hair with my fingers, gently at first but doing it faster and faster until I saw a ball of hair between my both my ring and middle finger. Perhaps there would be something on the ring finger, I sang to myself- of only thinking what Edward would get me if we did get married- this I knew was ridiculous since Edward would never leave me and he had said not to talk about marriage- only because he wanted me to live- but now I would die happily- and I could only dream of what he would get me when I was changed- since he knew I detested anything that cost pretty much of anything- I knew it would be something that came from his once beating but now dead heart- and NOT from his wallet.

Still laughing, I knew I was unable to control my enthusiasm and quickly dialed the number of the only person who I could think of at the moment- Alice. She, I knew would be the only person who would ever understand. I began to dial her number, and then when the phone started ringing I realized that I had dialed someone else's by mistake- how silly of me, I thought. And then I entered in the correct digits- but this was a mistake somehow as well because it told me that this line is no longer in service. Confused, I did it three more times, the same message replaying continuously.

I then went to my phone diary and checked that- and nonetheless it was Alice's number that I was dialing. Desperately this time, I tried again and again. But I probably had the wrong number I said to myself, my mind quickly jumping to stupid conclusions.

I dialed the Cullens and Hales number this time however- hoping that Esme, Emmet or Rosalie would connect me to Alice. I was just worried that I would blurt out my whole entire story to Rosalie by mistake- who I still thought hated me or something similar to that at least. And Esme would be happy- but the calm, quiet type of happy that I really didn't want right now but wanted a enthusiasm similar to my own- one I didn't think Esme could give me being a mother and all. And if I had blurted the story to Emmet- he'd just start laughing. I knew Jasper was away hunting however, and had been for awhile.

Hopefully one of the three of them could give me the number to reach Alice. I dialed their number hastily, and received a message telling me that this number was out of service. I tried two more times, and then the same message replayed itself. Strange, I thought. It seemed like they had cut off all ties from Forks; or from me.

I then dialed Edward's own number. I then heard the message I had heard so many times. My heart, it seemed, stopped beating all together. My hand froze on the phone. I had stopped breathing, I noticed, a bit too late, and then fell to the ground.

They had cut off all ties from me.

They didn't want me in their lives anymore.

They hadn't even said good bye.

He, for I couldn't bring myself to utter or even think his name now, had left me.

Forever.

But then I began to laugh at myself for my own stupidity, chuckling nervously. He wouldn't do that I knew. Edward, I cringed, would never lie to me and then leave me. He had just said that he loved me, and a lover would never do that, I knew, especially my own lover.

Hesitantly, knowing myself to be stupid, I grabbed my keys off the hook and opened the door to go outside. There I saw my truck, same as ever, standing there. I brought myself to it and got inside, rather slowly.

I turned the ignition; backed out of my drive way; and drove at least 10 miles under speed limit to Edward's house. Thankfully, there was no one else outside save for a few cars. I got to Edward's house, thankfully, to find his Volvo in the drive way, and suddenly felt a huge chain of relief cross over me and could finally breathe once more.

I was laughing to myself for being so stupid. Edward would never leave me, and I now knew that. We were in love after all, and love was never something that ended and I knew that well enough to be ready to give my life; and as I knew he would do the same; for the significant other.

I loved Edward with all my heart, and now I felt slightly more than just a twinge of regret for doubting him. I had to be the worst girl friend he had ever had, I thought. But I knew I was the only one…

The tears were finally coming, I noticed. I had been waiting for them earlier. Tears of only happiness. Pure bliss, I thought, at last.

I then took myself, stumbling over to Edward's car, almost running, and kissed it the second I was close enough. I could smell his scent on it, I noticed. My emotions still rolling over me, I checked inside the car- hoping to see him there even though I knew only an idiot would remain in their car for hours when their own house was waiting warm and friendly inside or whatever. When I peeked to see- my breath caught in my throat again. And this time I noticed there was a note inside. Addressed to me.

"I love you Bella," the note read, "never forget that."

I broke down in sobs right there, sliding against the car, my breath never quite returning to me.

I ran, dazed, confused and lost into his house in which I noticed the front door was open. The place was empty.

The furniture had been cleared out, and the area was vacant. All signs of human life gone- besides the place being spotless and dust free, the area was simply an empty and vacant area. I ran upstairs and checked every room- even the bathroom, crying and trembling to myself. Lovers never do this to each other, I reminded myself.

And at last I was at his room where as soon as I seemed to push the door open, I fell to my knees. It was just as empty as the rest of them.

Except I noticed one thing there. A set of keys- these keys I had only grown myself to be so familiar with for the past year or something like that. Being in love with Edward had lost me from keeping track where I had only fallen in love with him like no one else within only a few short days to me it seemed.

He had left me his car, I cringed. The one thing that he had admired he had left me. I cursed him under my breath, vowing that if he was ever to return that I would never go to him. He had left me something worth _money _something I had specifically not asked from him. He had left me this thing I had never wanted to see in my life, and now he was the thing. He was something I never wanted to see again. I took the keys and put it into my pocket, making a mental note to bury them later- one place where I would not find them again.

I left the house then; suddenly calm. I went to my own truck, once I was out and got in- finding myself driving over seventy miles an hour- laughing to myself. I had been raised a chief''s daughter- and yet I was going at this speed! I laughed to myself. I wasn't even wearing a seat belt, I noticed.

The car was starting to steam I noticed- suddenly remembering Jack's (sorry for forgetting his name but I really can't remember it right now) warning about not going over sixty. I suddenly cursed myself, and found myself crying once more. My vision became blurred, and when only a single tear escaped from my eyes and onto the fabric of my jeans, that I noticed that the car was exploding.

NOTE: SORRY IF THIS IS A BIT EMOTIONAL OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT BUT IT HAS TO BE LIKE THAT FOR THE FULL EFEECT- I DOUBT ANY GUY READS THIS OR SOMETHING SINCE I FIND TWILIGHT MORE OF A GIRL BOOK- NO OFFENSE TO ANY WHO DO- BUT I THNK THEY'LL RELATIVELY BE FINE WITH IT- THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW CAUSE IT HONESTLY MOTIVATES ME TO WRITE FASTER…

NOTE:


	4. Burning alive

STATS: Let's see...hmm...I have 27 reviews in three chapters... so that's 9 reviews per chapter...I'm hoping that people will make it a lot more...I have like, only 10 hits seperating me from a thousand...which I'm happy and thank you for...and somehow or another this is on 4 people's favorite's list, and even a more of a wow- 17 people's alert list! I'm hoping to make all these stats bigger by this chapter...

Memo: I've given up saying that I'll try to write faster...because I'm still trying, but that really isn't helping me at all since I have only a minimal time on the internet due to my parents always wanting to know what I'm doing...

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer turned the story case around, and she now is suing me...I don't like her anymore...lol

**Bella's view**

I couldn't hear myself think. I couldn't feel my body move. I couldn't see either. But I could hear. I could hear just perfectly.

I heard things crashing around me. I could smell fire. I'd be dead soon, I reckoned. It's what Edward would have wanted.

I hated him now, more than ever. I now had no idea what I had seen in him. It just seemed ridiculous to me.

Half of me expected for him to turn up- following me. He being the one saving me, just like he had earlier.

I cursed myself for my stupidity, and instantly knew that I was crying. It was because of my foolishness that I had cut myself by mistake- done that terrible joke on him- and now I was dying.

I doubt he would have left if he hadn't have tried to kill me. If Carlisle hadn't saved me. I could feel myself shuddering.

I just wanted to get this over with, and fast with that as well.

I didn't want to stay here. Just let it take me, I prayed silently- for I could not talk. Just let it take me.

I heard a snap then- and I knew it was something that had just fallen on my feet- but I was happy for one that I could not feel it. I just hoped it would hit my head next.

It was then that I felt even more of a pang. And I imagined hearing a voice. I heard Alice, struggling to do something it seemed because she was growling.

I didn't want this to be this way.

And then I heard voices. They were all around me. Panicked and worried, I could make out.

But then I traced it. It was only one. Alice.

"Bella," Alice (I think) whispered. "I know you can hear me Bella. I'm going to be offering you a choice now. "Do you want me to change you?"

I became excited. "Yes! Yes!" I wanted to shout out. I could be with Edward forever now. But then I remembered- I didn't need him. Perhaps I could say "No! No!" instead. I hated him now, I cried silently. I just couldn't feel the tears.

"Bella," she said. "Before you make your decision- which you have to- and fast- first hear me out. If you change right now, you probably won't be seeing Edward for a while, and he won't be seeing you. We would have to stage your death Bella. You couldn't let Charlie or Renee-your mother right?- know what happened to you. You have to understand that. Just like we didn't let Emmet's family find out what happened to him- although they did set up search parties looking for his body. Do you want to be changed?" she asked, once more.

I couldn't say anything. I didn't want Edward anymore- but I brightened at the chance of being unbreakable. No more of a clutz, I wanted to cry. But I knew that would happen either way. But I would be able to live. Perhaps I could live with Alice for a while.

"Edward can't read my mind," she whispered.

I had to make my choice, I knew. There was no Edward on either way, and so both sides appealed. But lying to Charlie? My _mom _of all people?

But perhaps, I knew I could change that. I would let them know that I was allright, and I would let th-

"Quickly Bella," Alice interrupted. "_You _have exactly 10 seconds to make your choice before it's too late..."

"Okay," I managed to whisper. My jaw stung at that point, not because I had already been bit, but because I had just managed to talk.

Then there was a feeling that recognized me once more. It was in my hand, the burning sensation I had endured. I could barely feel it however, I thought happily. Perhaps I would never have to.

I was already burning alive, and so it didn't matter to me that there was just another flame I would have to consume.

"I've arranged for some one to find you Bella," she said, kissing the top of my forehead. "She has every thing set out for you. I'll come for you shortly," she said. "Or Edward will think I did something here."

"Bye," I said, closing my eyes- laughing all the way. "Bye."

NOTE: SORRY IF THIS WAS A BIT SHORT- BUT DON't KNOW WHAT ELSE TO ADD TO THIS,YOU HAVVVVVVVVVVE TO REVIEW HOWEVER...I WANT TO KNOW WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF THIS...


	5. Chapter 5

MEMO: THANK U FOR THE REVIEWS! WANTED TO SAY THAT….I hope this is fast enough of an update- at least to me- I think it is compared to all my other updates which I KNOW were kind of slow…..

Disclaimer: No one took the case to court yet, apparently they think I'm much to stupid of a fan to do anything….they're so wrong…lol

_**Bella's View**_

The little energy I had left was used up when I had said "Bye" to Alice, and I had blacked out.

I awoke to find a girl hovering over my face, who I couldn't make out so clearly because I was still kind of tired. I could feel myself sweating coherently, and I wiped at my forehead. I noticed that it was not sweat, but water on my face, and that my hand had completely blackened. I stared at it in shock for a few moments, before I heard someone laughing a bit away.

I sat up immediately, but found it useless, because my feet were buckled to the chair- naturally however because I could not move them.

It was Rosalie.

"Rosalie," I said- my own voice sounding strange to me.

"Yeah, it's me Bella," she said.

"Aren't you supposed to be in Africa or something? And don't you hate me?" I asked her, confused.

"Don't talk too much," she said. "Your voice has a bit of adjusting to do to your new body. You relax, and I'll explain," she said, stepping back. "I'll be back in a second," she continued, and left the room momentarily.

"Here's a new ice pack," she laughed, placing it on my forehead. "Where to begin…" she started. "Okay. You know how Edward can read minds?" I nodded, thankful that the ice pack did not fall on my face, and over my eyes. "Don't try to move," she cautioned. "Okay. So Edward can read minds and all, but he has difficulty reading mine, Alice's, Carlisle's, Emmets, - and so on, because we have adjusted to go around his mind reading or whatever. He can only read our feelings when they're really strong, like when Jasper attacked you- it was the only thing in his mind at the moment- and painfully obvious to Edward who was not used to that big of a rush of emotions all at once besides the usual. And like mine for instance- when, sorry, - but you came to our house." She sighed, and then continued.

"I'm sorry for that, I really am- but I thought it would be in the best interest of you to leave us because it would result in something bad. And now it's too late for that, so…Edward, now that you're changed will not find out through me or Alice or anyone who knows for the matter- which there aren't a lot of people. Edward- no offense- is single minded and not that smart either- just like Jasper and Emmet though- all guys are."

"I don't want to talk about Edward," I said. "I really don't want to…"

"Why?" she asked, frowning at me.

"Because I don't love him, and I know for a fact that he doesn't love me either, and I just really hate him right now-and probably will like, forever."

She just stared at me in shock for a couple of moments, and then continued. "Okay then, we won't talk about him- that," she corrected. I really did hate him though, and that I knew wouldn't change anytime soon. Thankfully she continued- without talking about him. "Well, you probably know that when I found Emmet, he was dying. But somehow, he lived until we celebrated his birthday in 1935 or something- no doubt Edward told you that. Carlisle, Alice, and I can withstand a lot of blood when it's close- because Alice really isn't that drawn to human blood, nor animal blood, and I don't find the attraction the way her beau finds it. Esme had never been tested. But anyway- you smell a lot like blood, and that's why I'm here. Because I can resist it and Emmet thinks I've left him on a tantrum or something, and everyone else thinks I'm in Africa. So anyway…"

"Where are we?" I asked her, startled; confused and dazed. I didn't think we were even in the U.S. any more.

"Italy, I think," she said.

"You THINK," I accused. I was hoping Canada at the most.

"Yeah, we're somewhere in Italy. Don't worry, they've found enough of your remains to think you're dead in Forks or whatever. Okay, so now as I was going on. When I found Emmet- he was in really bad shape- but had at least an hour to live, unlike your ten seconds like Alice had told me. And so he was a lot more safer and in better shape than you were. You know you were supposed to die in that crash, but Alice saved you. And your body was so badly bruised, just like Emmet's was- that when I had turned him he turned partially scarred in that color or something."

"In that color or something?" I asked, not knowing who it was I had just met because this was not the Rosalie I was used to.

"Yeah, whatever," she said. I decided to let this pass and keep her in her good mood. "Okay, and since you were so badly damaged, as I had said like three times before. Your body repelled some of the changes. Your body color might not be like mine or Edw- Emmet's- sorry," she apologized. I flinched, as though I had been struck.

"Don't say that name," I hissed angrily.

"Sorry," she said, smiling nervously. "Okay, and your shade might be a bit darker than ours."

"Like I'm Latino or Indian or something," I asked, still confused- my anger fading.

"Yeah sure. But you'll probably stay like your usual albino color that you were born with or some shade similar to that. Emmet is like that in select places," she said, nodding. I didn't want to know what those select places were, but seeing my reaction, she laughed. "Not THOSE places," she said. "Like he's a bit more tanned in his back for instance- not that noticeable to you however."

"Okay," I said. My lung then immediately went dry, I noticed. I clutched my throat, gagging.

"God," she said, looking at me hopelessly. "I warned you not to talk. Back in a second." She came back with a chug of water as tears were streaming down my eyes. I could not breathe. I didn't think I needed to either though, but apparently I did. "You haven't changed completely duffer," she said as she poured the water down my throat, and left the room as my eyes closed shut. "Good night Bella," I thought I heard her whisper as she got out and left.

-

**_Rosalie's view_**

I could not believe I had just done that.

I then called Alice after I had left Bella. "Pick up, pick up," I grumbled as the phone rang. The phone finally did pick up. "You owe me SO much," I shouted into the phone. "OhmiGod Alice," I shouted. "She…"

"Be quiet Rose," Alice whispered. "He's here," she said.

"Oh," I said, immediately understand. "Then go somewhere else, we need to talk and it's urgent."

"Okay, just one minute," she said into the phone. I could hear her talking to him. "It's going to be all right Edward," she said. "I'll be back in a minute." I could hear him tell her to leave him.

"Do that," I whispered.

"I heard that Rose," he barked.

"Bye then Edward," Alice said to him, leaving. It was a full minute till she responded. "What is it Rose?" she asked. I told her.

"Bella swore that she hated Edward?" she asked me.

"Yeah. Also hissed at me when I said his name by mistake. And get this Alice, she's completely _anything but our color- color. _Not like how Emmet was- remember I told you about that- but completely. I don't know what's wrong with her. Her body's not supposed to adjust like this. You know it doesn't matter what skin color or whatever a persons born with- but I think her blood is reacting differently. Should we get Carlisle?" I asked.

"What's BAD about her skin color Rose?" she accused. "I mean, she-"

"No," I shouted. "It means her body is not adjusting to our standards or something. Also means she may be abnormal in other traits and qualities. You know Bella was never like normal people or whatever…"

"Yeah, Edward had told me that…"

"About her thing against blood, and her classification of Edward type music."

"It's still not much though," she objected. "Not much to make her different from everyone else- since tons of people have that."

"Not the blood thing though," I said. "And how Edward can't read her mind, it's not _normal," _I said.

"Oh."

"Carlisle?"

"No," she said. "He might tell Edward. What did you do about Emmet though?"

"Left him," I said, laughing.

"Not again," she said, and I could practically sense her smiling into the phone.

"He gets a bit annoying sometimes anyway," I said, laughing.

"No," she said, laughing right back. "That's _you." _

"But about Bella?" I asked. "I don't care about Emmet right now. What are we going to be doing about her?"

"I'll check Carlisle's books. We're are you right now?"

"Italy," I said.

"Buy me a hat," she said, and shut off the phone.

"Okay," I said, closing down the phone.

I then went to go check up on Bella, even though it had only been minutes since I had last seen her. When I went to her, I sighed in relief. Her body had already started whitening.

I stood and waited there for a few moments, until I heard her moaning in her sleep.

"Go to hell Edward," she growled.

Uh-oh, I thought. Alice was not going to like this.

NOTE: I REALIZE THAT THIS CHAPTER IS A BIT DIFFERENT FROM THE REST OF MY CHAPTERS AND THIS IS THE ONLY CHAPTER WITH THIS MUCH TALKING INVOLVED AND PROBALBY SO MUCH ROSALIE. THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR READING, AND THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING (WHICH YOU'LL HOPEFULLY DO) BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO KNOW HOW THIS IS COMPARED TO MY OTHER CHAPTERS….


	6. Sisters

**Memo: Oooh, thank you guys for all the reviews- which I hope will go up to 50 (hint-hint) this time (at least). I don't know what else to say over here, except for thanks again...**

**NOTE: Okay, so for the skin thing which I'm going to say or clear up or so- in this chapter**

**Disclaimer: Don't trust Stephenie Meyer**

**- **

**BELLA's VIEW**

I woke up with a chilled, and nagging headache at about 4 p.m.- I didn't know what time zone however. It felt like 4 p.m. though.

I was honestly confused by the time I opened my eyes, and got up. I then, remembering something, quickly looked down at my feet and sighed in exhaustion.

They were white once more, and I sighed in relief. Not as white as Edward's though, as I recalled.

I didn't have a long time to myself before Rosalie came into the room- running more like it.

"Thank _god _you're awake," she chirped. "It was awfully boring to myself for a while, just to let you know. You seemed to take just about _forever _to wake up. I al-"

"Rosalie," I interrupted her, putting my hand up in the air to stop her from talking any more- her with a confused expression on her face to _why _I stopped her. "I thank you _so _much for helping me and being with me for these days, but I have to ask you why my skin color is back to normal, and if the process is over or not."

"Silly me," she cried. "Yeah, it is. Sorry for not telling you this earlier- not that I actually had much of a chance though- but your transformation is complete- and as for your skin, it's not as light as my own, but it _is _good considering the consequences."

"Which are?" I wanted to know.

"Well, when me and Emmet and just about everyone else transformed- we weren't internally _and _externally racked up. Esme was- but Esme wasn't burned alive pretty, much which has to be just about _harsh _compared to our transformation standards. And so, because you were too much to fix- I really don't know anything about the transformation, but it's along those lines- that your body wasn't able to repair it fully, and so you may have some distinguished characteristics- such as a darker skin tone. I think," she finished.

"Good to know," I said, still confused. "Okay Rosalie, thanks for all your hospitality and stuff,- but to bring it out right now, I have to go," I sighed. It's what I wanted to say earlier, but the skin question caught my mouth first.

"Go?" she said. "Go where?"

"As in leave Rosalie. I can't spend any more time here, disturbing you- I know for a fact that I've over adressed your hospitality and stuff, and for that of which I'm sorry but-"

"Don't you dare say that Bella," she whispered, her finger accusing me, "I left Emmet for you, I'm doing this favor for Alice, and I don't care about your Edward who brought you into our lives in the first place." Her glare had returned, I noticed. "I'm doing this Bella, for you. Because I don't know you, and don't you _dare _assume that you know me, because I assure you that you _don't _know me. I doubt you ever will either. This Bella-" she said, turning around- "is what I got for _you, _and if you stopped being such a brat, that you'd-"

"Stop," I told her. "Just stop it. I KNOW I've overstepped my boundaries and so I'm going. Don't try to stop me from talking," I told her- when she tried to hush me- "I'm going to go. I know for a fact that I can smell human blood from here Rose, and I know you probably got it to test me or something, but I'm _not _an animal. I guess your right about my abilities being distinguished because I'm _disturbed _by that smell. I'll make a living for myself somehow or another, whether I'll have to turn into a prostitute or not-" I continued, "I'll make my own living. I don't _want _ANY more generosities from your family. I know why you hated me Rosalie, I can sense it in you now. You believe that I'm some over zealous bitch who doesn't deserve to be like this. You know what Rosalie. I'm sorry. There, I said it. Happy now?"

I knew that my uproar was not called for, and I knew that Rosalie was shocked- which I could clearly see on her. Shock; confusion, and hurt. I could sense that above all, she was hurt by what I had just said. I had misread her character, and now I knew that she would not hesitate in letting me leave.

Leave, I thought. I wanted to do that SO badly. I wanted to leave it all behind, forever. I didn't want to see Rosalie any more because she reminded me of Edward- her skin, her voice- her hair for god's sake.

"I'm sorry," I said. "But looking at you, you just remind me too much of him, and so I have to leave. Don't tell Alice that, just thank her for all she's done. Don't tell him that I'm alive, because Rosalie- I know that I owe you this much at least- I swore to him that I would never be with him again. I just...don't want to see him anymore Rose. When I was down there-" I said, motioning to the couch, "I realized that I didn't love him anymore, and to be with him reminded me of how he left me Rosalie. How would you react if Emmet left you?" (Note: I know that this chapter is going exceedingly fast and quick, but I just have no idea how to place this part- so bare with me here)

I noticed that she was silent for several moments, digesting what I had said. I noticed that I no longer stared unpatiently, like I used to do, at her. I was calm, I realized. Calm and cool for the first time.

Now the only problem was of the heat wave due to global warming outside, I thought- laughing silently to myself.

I was so happy for once. I didn't have to worry about tripping or falling- or any dark ally experience. I wouldn't need pepper spray anymore- nore would I need a night in shining armor- the way Edward had been to me. Edward, I thought.

I had lied to Rosalie. I would always love him, but he had left me. And so now, I just didn't want him.

"Yeah," she said, interrupting my thoughts, her eyes were warming up, I noticed. "When Emmet had done that I almost lost myself Bella," she said, looking straight at me, her eyes wet. "But I went back to him. You have no idea what I had done Bella," she said, looking at me intently- her eyes seemed to be lost somewhere else altogether however. "You have no idea," she whispered.

"So tell me," I recoiled, softly.

"I left him, stranded there. I never turned back. I left for about a year or more- that's when your Edward- and I AM going to say that name- realized my pigheadedness. I have tried to change ever since Bella, and I came back about a decade before you came into my life. And at that point I realized that I didn't want to go through life without any meaning at _all _again. I was lost, and now I'm found," she said, her intense glare was now looking at the wall.

"What does that have to do with me though?" I asked, confused.

"I know that doesn't make sense to you right now, but it will later. (Note: I have no idea what I'm writing- and probably will also realize it later in the series- don't ask me to explain). I developed a hate for humans Bella- you in particular- you being so close to Edward- _wanting _to change. You have no idea what it's like," she whispered, "no idea."

"Rosalie...I don't care!" I exclaimed. "I truly am sorry though. I'm going to go now," I said, pointing stupidly at the door. "I'll make my own living, like I already mentioned, and I-"

"Sorry for that then," she said. "You won't need to become a whore quite quickly- just ask for money and they'll give it to you. Here," she said, pulling some bills out of her wallet. "Here's about 20 grand. They're checks though- addressed to you. Don't worry though, they probably won't ask for I.D. Just be sure to get a male clerk. Females aren't much of a difference- but they might ask."

"I wasn't expecting that," I admitted. "At all. Thanks Rose, and I swear I'll pay you back one day." I said, grabbing the money.

"Don't worry Bella," she said, "what are sisters for?"

MEMO: **THANKS for reading, and even a moreeeeeee of a thanks WHEN you REVIEW! **

**L.O.L...**


	7. Alone

**MEMO: I'm going back to how I wrote the third and fourth chapter**

**I looked at my stats page, and I found out that I've had only about 100 hits on this chapter, which is less than a _tenth _of what I had in my first chapter, which is REALLY disappointing- 1000-to about 500 in the second chapter- 300+ in the third- 250+ in the fourth- 200+ in the fifth- and now only a _hundred- _which to me I really don't like that much and so I have to ask...**

_**How should I improve my story?-**_

_**Please tell me this in the reviews or so- I only got like five in the last chapter**_

_**Thanks for reading...**_

**Disclaimer: The beginning's enough of a disclaimer to me... **

**Bella's View**

"Sisters?" I asked, obviously confused.

She shrugged, smiling. "Yeah," she nodded. "I guess we are now."

"Thanks," I nodded in agreement, smiling. We were both changed now- and I guess people who were changed would have to stick together as in different clans. But I knew I could not be part of this clan. I didn't like some- or particularly- one of the people in it.

"Go now," she told me, laughing. "Make a life for your self. Youhave the money, and that should be enough to cover apartment expenses for at least a while. You can get a job as a model- just about anyone will hire you. Pose for playboy," she cracked. I laughed.

"No thanks," I said, grinning. "Thanks though," I said, "for the money that is, and for all your help."

"No problem," she replied. "I have too much to spend for myself- well actually, no since it seems in three hundred years Carlisle _really _has to earn more. I can't stand keeping the same model of a car for more than a few years."

"Aren't they like for about 300k or something," I asked, confused. I knew that they had money and all, but my own Dad who I saw so seldom couldn't afford me more of a car- which even in my eyes was great and all- for more than a few hundred or so dollars it seemed.

_Charlie,_ I thought. I wondered how he was now. I wondered how Mom and Phil were right now. I wondered how Jessica was. I wondered if they knew...I wondered how..._STOP it Bella, _I warned myself. _Stop it right now. They aren't part of your life any more. _

But I knew I could not do that. Looking down at the money in my hand, I decided to send it to them later.

"Hey Rose," I asked. "Can you send this to Charlie and Mom and everyone." I handed her the money back.

"Nonsense Bella," she replied. "I gave that to you. If you want though, I'll send them some more. You can believe me when I say that I've made more than enough to go along in my life. Almost 75 years of collecting gets you bored. With Emmet too..." she trailed off.

"Well, thanks anyways," I replied, still holding the money out. "Still take it though. I assure you that I want nothing to do with it. I still will pay you back for your generosity however. Bye then," I said, putting the money on a counter when I left the room, leaving her puzzled.

"Hey Bella," she called, coming after me. "Take my number. And you also, just to let you know, will have problems adjusting when it comes to the sleep counter. For about a year I think- or less depending on who knows what- you'll have the capability of sleeping, but probably no more than that. You won't need it, just to let you know," she finished, handing me a paper which I assumed had her number on it. I was right.

"Thanks and bye," I called, stepping out of the house, for one last time. "Don't know when I'll get around to getting a phone, but I'll try in the next few years. See you," I waved and left.

That was the last time that I ever saw Rosalie Hale again.

For a while at least.

I ran, blinded, right after I left her- nonstop.

I tried to run to a forest, some type of woods where I could clear my head. I woke up to find myself in Finland. I knew that nothing bad could happen there- it being the least corrupt country in the world (note- true fact).

I was in a slush of snow, I noticed. I instantly knew I was somewhere North.

It stained my clothes, making them damp on my now freezing body. I wasn't sure if I could freeze to death or not.

Cradling myself, I rocked myself back and forth for what seemed like days. They were only hours.

_The feeling of my hand burning, I remembered after his lips touched it- one last time. The feeling of the electric volt surging through my body, I recalled. I remembered myself trying to think of happy I would be with him- forever. Just him and me. _

"Forever," I whispered. "It was supposed to be forever..."

"_Edward," I had called out, stopping for a few short moments. He had turned around to look at me, his eyes a smoldering my own- since I couldn't believe that they could have gotten any lighter. "I love you," I cried to him, from the couch_.

"_I love you to Bella," he said, looking at me longingly. I remember myself telling me that he was probably trying to remember how I was like a human, I had thought. I was giggling when he said that, half crying, half laughing from the couch. I knew that was probably the last memory I would probably ever have of him. _

"Edward," I whispered, clenching my teeth shut due to the cold. I looked down, and noticed I was only in a nightgown. "I don't love you." I managed, against the cold.

I knew I should have listened to what Billy had said, instead of being shown to the cruel reality of life, love, and deciet.

"_See you soon then," I had sang happily, a smile playing on my lips._

"_If you don't find yourself in an accident by that time, then yes," he replied curtly. _Oh god that was true, I thought. I bit my tongue at the thought, fighting the urge to cry. _We had both found ourselves laughing at that- but within seconds when I had opened mine- I noticed it was only me. He had disappeared. _

-

I was crying when a lady found me. She was on a sled pulled by snow dogs I noticed. She found me, shivering with my eyes red and swollen.

I had stopped crying. I realized I wasn't able to do that anymore. I just couldn't.

She was speaking to me, I noticed. Trying to calm me. Her husband, who I had not seen was beside her. He picked me up and put me beside them.

I didn't realize what was happening at that moment. They were trying to speak to me, I remembered. In Finnish too- a language I most certainly did not know.

I had reacted irrantionally then and had pushed the man at my side out. I didn't see what happened, but I had most certainly heard a crack and a few screams. I had ran blindly south. I didn't see myself tear past buildings and apartments.

I doubted the people noticed me as I ran.

I doubted I ran into anything. Edward was right, I thought. Running was like a second nature only next to thinking, I thought.

I found myself in a jungle. I cried there, half laughing and half crying all over again. Out of relief and exhaustion of finally reaching somewhere where I knew that not many people came.

I cried for days, perhaps weeks. This part I knew.

I remembered him holding me, me wishing that he would never let go. I remembered myself getting embarassed around him when I had to go brush my teeth in the morning. I laughed at the memory.

I realized that I wanted to see him once more. Just once. To ask him why he did it. Just to ask him...

_Oh god Edward, I thought. Oh god. _

The rest of my life flashed before me like a bolt. I couldn't remember what was happening at that time. I didn't know where I was.

I couldn't think, or laugh, nor walk nor talk.

I couldn't even cry.

I awoke in a hurry, finding a tiger examining me. I was leaning against a tree. I remembered that they killed by snapping the neck.

I wasn't scared though.

I killed it and drank, not realizing what I was doing.

I hated myself at that point. Hated myself for killing an innocent animal, something that didn't deserve to die. Someone called the king of the jungle- just opposite the lion.

I found the blood of it lingering at my lips and fingers, and I licked it helplessly- not leaving a drop nor stain behind.

And I fell asleep once more.

I found myself this time leaning against a wall. I was sweating out of exhaustion.

I smelt a man at my side, watching and observing what I was doing.

I didn't know what was happening.

"Eh gore," he said. I didn't understand what he was saying. "Pagal he thou- agar kamine aplo ke mil ja the per kya hotha. Onlog upke betch the the..."

"_What?" _I asked, confused. I didn't know what was happening.

I felt a breath lingering near my neck.

"Angraise?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, confused.

"You English," he said. "You crazy. They find and sell you."

"Who?" I asked.

"Scoundrels. This India. Bad place," he said.

"English good,' I told him, dazed.

"Yes," he said. I noticed his hand was fingering my hair, rubbing it in his two fingers. He was right next to me. His blood's smell was over whelming, pushing me at my limits of restraint. I could sense what he wanted.

His eyes were watching me, drifting up and down my body as I was something to explore.

I fought the urge to kill him then. I didn't believe men like that deserved to live...

"No," I told him.

"Too bad you," he said. _Too bad for you, I thought. _

"I go," I said, trying to stand up to leave.

My body wouldn't let me. My legs refused to move. I was trembling.

It was at that point that the urge took me over and I broke his neck.

_I suddenly remembered Edward saving me. That day I had figured out what he was. That day I had fallen in love with him. So easily, I thought._

_So Easily that I had fallen in love._

_I wouldn't have stopped him, I thought. If he had killed those men right there and then, I would not have stopped him. _

_I think that was what made me fall in love with him in the first place. _

"_Oh god," I gasped. _I wasn't able to breathe. I was stiff and cold. This was India, I realized. And yet I had never been colder or alone.

NOTE: TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS CHAPTER.

THERE'S A LOT GOING ON IN THIS CHAPTER AND I JUST WANTED TO GET THROUGH THIS PART...

PLEASE REVIEW!


	8. Toy

Memo: **SO sorry it took so long to post an update- I've been catching up on updates for other chapters and stuff- but still- I'm going to post this today….**

**Note: Review, Review, Review!**

**Disclaimer: I can't claim Stephenie Meyer's work after New Moon…**

**Edward's View-**

I found my life going on a terribly boring edge. In someone else's perspective at least.

To me it was devastating. Every where I turned I could see her, every face seemed to be hers- at the moment I had seen her last. She had looked so happy, so exuberant, so full of _life, _something I knew I would never see again.

I knew she would recover shortly- I didn't deserve someone like her I knew. Not scared of a monster like me- who kept telling her how luscious she was, got angry sometimes and wouldn't give another thought, and sometimes drew up conclusions which would make her furious. But she never argued with it.

"_in my head there's only you now_

_  
this world falls on me_

_  
in this world, there's real and make believe_

_  
this seems real to me"_

I felt like the Beast- in the Beauty and Beast at least. I had never understood Bell's view on the Beast and how she had ever cared for him. I could only understand the Beast's view- looking at this I saw myself with Bella- how she got mad, and then with one look at me she hushed down. I saw myself as Kong, in King Kong.

This was not going to be going smoothly, I knew.

Somehow I had fallen in love with her hopelessly- and I reminded myself only of Kong. I would do _anything, _I knew, _anything, _to protect her. She was all I had in the world anyway.

And I knew that she had more in the world than me, and I knew that it was time- time mainly which made me draw back. We, I knew, could not go onto the full King Kong video- with her risking her life, perhaps losing it to protect me. My life was worth nothing, compared to her I knew.

"_one more kiss could be the best thing _

_  
one more lie could be the worst_

_  
and all these thoughts are never resting _

_  
and you're not something i deserve"_

I didn't know what to do…all those meaningless hours in front of me. I tried to stay away from everyone I knew- especially Esme. There were times when she scared me- telling me it was not my fault for what had happened. She kept trying to hush me; to calm me down. Rosalie just looked at me in repeated pity whenever she was there- thank God she had gone away with Emmet (who looked jumbled whenever he saw me- never sure of what to say or to stay for too long for the fear that I was reading his thoughts). Alice and Jasper had gone away though for awhile- somewhere about going some place where they could find some excellent hunting, and the population was less than scarce.

It was not that hard to guess. Either some hot region like the Sahara- which I didn't believe for there weren't enough animals, or the Arctic since Alice said that she had some before and thought that Jasper might like them.

Then there was Carlisle. He was the only one acting normal- the only face I could make out in the jumble of them.

Mostly now I had hung out in various music stores when I was not at home- in my room- and doing absolutely nothing. I guess moping would be considered even more of a lively thing than I was doing. I had bought all the top hits in the last decade or so- none of them particularly appealing however.

I found one to peak my interest by a band named "Life house"- but after seeing the groups name I had immediately given up on it- that and their hit "You and me" had taken quite an effect on me. I didn't like it.

"The Reason" by Hoobstank I could somewhat understand, and the one I found myself comparing to most was "Let go," by 3 doors down.

_  
"you love me, but you dont know who i am_

_  
i'm torn between this life i lead_

_  
and where i stand_

_  
you love me, but you don't know who i am_

_  
so let me go_

_  
let me go_

_  
i dream we head to what i hope for_

_  
and i turn my back on loving you_

_  
how could this love be a good thing_

_  
when i know what i'm going through_

_  
in my head there's only you now_

_  
this world falls on me_

_  
in this world, there's real and make believe_

_  
this seems real to me"_

Those words related to me more than anything, "_No matter how hard I try, I can't escape these things inside," _I thought. How very true, how very true.

Within a week of that however, music had turned to be the enemy- except for this song of course. This one song which related to me in many more ways than one. I could've written them- and yet they could not be composed so well.

(**Note: These lyrics are part of that "Let go" song by 3 doors down).**

I knew I couldn't bother her now, Charlie for one would never forgive me. I knew Bella would be in the recovering stage at this process, planning of her next steps in life. Mike Newton, I thought- at this point I couldn't even find myself repelled at the thought for he was a _lot _better for her than I could ever be- was probably helping her heal. Him, or her friend Jacob Black who would probably help her into the next process of telling her how his father, Billy, was just an idiot and that they had never meant anything bad against us.

She had to be fine without me, I knew. She might get desperate, like she had demonstrated with the bag of blood she had stored earlier- but I hoped that this would only go to a certain extent.

I just hoped she could get better.

Besides, I thought. Just wait a few more decades- which would probably go effortlessly, and then I thought- hoped- I could visit her then. And I would find her fine- married, with kids and everything. And there she could tell me how she hated me and never wanted to see me again. I smiled at the thought.

_Just a little while longer, I thought. And then she'll be fine without me. And by then- Jasper and Emmet could probably do me a favor if I bribed them enough. _

**Bella's View-**

India I found to be the most interesting of places. I had mistakenly wandered into the sun once, and the men had found me-a _tribe _had found and recovered me. And now I found myself having a blast as a God.

Thinking of Edward, thinking of all my little discliples if I turned them they could go hit him and beat him and I would laugh mercilessly and remind him that he had left me, and now I was the same thing as him.

But he couldn't have me.

No, I thought. He couldn't. I'd already lost my heart, and didn't want to lose it again. He had already broken it, and I didn't want to find myself in another accident if he decided to break it again- decided to go after Rosalie and Alice- for this time I could hurt a lot more people than just myself.

I was already dead and invincible, for I knew he didn't care about me.

_When in doubt_, I thought, _forget it and start over_.

And here, I thought, I could be a Queen! I could stop all men in their tracks and stop romances wherever they stood and no woman would have to go through what I had gone through. The world could be a better place I rejoiced!

The people bought me great feasts- wine and silverware (which I had no idea how they acquired but couldn't ask because I didn't understand whatever language they were speaking)- goats and fruits and delicacies I had never even _dreamed of. _

I settled fine with the tiger however that they had brought to entertain me, and immediately admired it's brilliant colors. I was a hunter just as well, I realized. A carnivore.

I laughed in delight. I could forget about him entirely, and start over from scratch. I giggled and I laughed- dismissed all my little friends who came to serve me- and found myself having quite a _grand _time.

But it was not until night fell on the third day, and everyone had seemed to go to bed that I remembered the reason I was truly here. To forget him, I recalled.

To try to forget what I was doing all this for, was him. Why I allowed Alice to change me- so I could spend the rest of my life with him.

_Spend eternity_, I thought, _with him. Forever. _

That was only a dream now however. Only a dream.

He didn't want me, had left me without even a good bye. With false hopes. He had left me, alone and happy- giving me the idea that I could plan out the next three millenias with him doing God knows what, and then he could take that short of time to leave me.

To abandon me.

To make true that statement I had believed all along, he didn't love me. I was simply a fascination to him, something to toy and play with. My heart was nothing to him. He truly was the predator, I bargained, only doing this for the fun- and it seemed like I could only make so much, and he had left.

Then he had found a joke to play with me, with one final act. Seeing how much my heart could take- making me fall in _love _with him, and then _breaking _it. Just as a joke, I thought.

I hated him now more than ever, I thought.

More than ever.

'

Note: **You guys asked for Edward's point of view and so I put it here- hope it was okay at least since I didn't know what to put in it…**

**TELL ME WHAT U THINK!**

**I'll TRY TO UPDATE IN THE NEXT WEEK SINCE SCHOOLS STARTING SOON!**

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**AND REVIEW!**


	9. Happy at last

**MEMO: OOH! Thank you guys so much for all the reviews…! – This story definitely has the most alerts (but not by much, and I think my other story is going to catch up soon- both actually)- but still, thank you!- I can't believe that like 40 or something people have it pop up on their emails that I just wrote this!**

**To clarify things- Edward believes that Bella is dead…and so he wants to die himself now…- that should clear it up for those of you who were confused (at least a little bit)**

**Okay, and I'm probably not going to be able to update for awhile (week), just to let you guys know- but I update eVERy single chance I have on the computer….which actually isn't that much (as you guys should be able to tell now- but still)**

**Okay, and REVIEW!**

**Edward's View**

**2 years later**

The past two years had passed quickly- for me at least. It had happened that Esme had confronted Carlisle about my behaviour- my constant avoidance of her, and my constant lack of attitude, music…

"Dead," she would call me. "Edward, you're _dead." _

And I would agree.

"Took you long enough to figure that one out Esme…" I would always trail off.

"It's been over a _year _now Edward," she used to say back then, back when I was not so fortunate. "She's gone, she's _dead _Edward," her voice always get light at this part. "She opened your heart Edward, you need to understand that…but if she's gone for good now Edward, as she is- it meant that she wasn't supposed to be with you." _Right, right, right- I would sing in my brain. But Alice had disappointed me, she hadn't changed her- "_If it were meant for you Edward, it would come back, but Bella's not coming back now…you have to understand that. You may not be able to find anyone Edward, perhaps never again- but don't lose what you have…_Not again…" _

And here I would always leave.

But that was back then.

And this was now.

I was a lot happier now however, a lot more than I had ever been- before B.B. at least. (Before Bella)- and this was the best I'd been since A.B. (you guess).

I was being drugged. Daily. Hourly. Minutely practically.

The moment I would begin to think about her, my Doctor had instructed, I was to plunge this syrum into myself, and inhale it. Then I would lose consciousness…for a bit anyway…and I would think about her. I would, and it would help me to get over it, at least according to Carlisle.

I would think about her being happy, being not with me, fully knowing that she had only been kidding about suicide, it didn't matter now though…what she had said- she was dead.

I was really happy. And sometimes, now and then- I could tell where Esme stood, and when Alice was and so on…I couldn't read their minds anymore I had found out. It was quite confusing to me now how I had done it- I couldn't make out anything anymore…there was a point and purpose when that was just not fun anymore.

With losing Bella, I had also lost my ability. I had lost what _allowed _me to read minds, which was- I suppose- to _want _to hear them, to _want _to know what they were thinking, to _want _to be able to help…but that was then, I reminded myself, and this is now.

With Bella, I had lost the ability of want. I had lost the voices in my head. I had lost all that made me me. I had begun to notice things though- Alice and Rosalie- always looking distressed, Emmet and Jasper- always confused. I didn't have to read their minds to know that they didn't know what was happening to the two of them, but it didn't take much to figure it out.

Apparently without my mind reading- they were falling apart. Jasper had to be home schooled, apparently. He couldn't afford to lose control anymore. I didn't go to school, and so that was all right.

Alice stayed away from home as much as possible, Rosalie always with her. They had begun to wrap themselves in a tiny little bubble quite often lately…it filled me with confusion.

I lay on that for quite a few days, then dropped it.

It must have been normal for them at least- Esme and Carlisle were doing the same. They were falling apart, literally- and they didn't know how to mend it. Apparently the bachelor was left with that for the previous decades…

And now the bachelor was more like a widower, I supposed- a hard, dead, cold, widower-ooh, I though- those words applied _exactly _ to me as well. No wonder I was a widower type thing now, I mused to myself.

I could never offer comfort, never the least warmth- and I could never offer life or happiness, for I was dead already. And now I supposed I was like that on the outside too.

Emmet sometimes brought food home for me nowadays, since I couldn't afford going outside, I hadn't had any sense of taste or smell whatsoever in the past ½ year which I had spent at home…in my room mainly.

And now I was having dinner.

With six other little people looking at me excitedly. They were pleased by my progress.

Midway through my meal though- I noticed Alice and Rosalie in that bubble again, sharing thoughts to themselves. Thoughts I had once been able to hear.

I then set down my buffalo, after one more bite, and looked at them.

I now could only suppose the want had come back.

"_She's alive," _I whispered, confused.

They verified.

"Yes Edward," they both said in chorus.

I didn't know what happened then, but something in me snapped- and I immediately found myself propelled in Emmet's arm. I smiled as I saw both of their faces- Alice and Rosalie both were bruised, and bleeding…

I would find out where she was, I now knew, and hunt her down myself.

She had made me give up too much for her in the past few years…to much. And she was alive, and yet she had never even bothered to find me…

She obviously _hadn't _loved me, as I had thought, so it was okay I bargained. She wouldn't be strong, and she wouldn't be that fast either-she was just new. After I got rid of her, I decided, permanently- then it would be time to get rid of myself.

I mentally thanked Carlisle for the drugs after all.

**Bella's View—!**

2 years had passed so quickly. I had found myself speaking their language- had found several loyal servants, and had found myself a new and happy life. I loved India, I decided. In my previous life, I had never been farther than Alberque (says in New Moon- don't know where that is though).

There was so much to do- I giggled!

Being in charge of everything here was definitely fun…I was a god.

_The _God.

Apparently they had decided to go monotheist on me…

I couldn't resist another laugh.

_Advantage, I crowed, never take advantage of others- but most importantly- never let anyone take advantage of YOU._

I wasn't taking an advantage of them though, I was saving myself FROM the advantage, if they hadn't been helping me out, then who would KNOW where I would find myself in…

There was so much to do.

But most times, I kept myself entertained. He still aired in my thoughts hourly- I would laugh and giggle some more as I would hear him cry and sob, and beg for forgiveness, ooh, I wondered to myself, could I ever give it to him?

Could I be that generous, after what he had showed me?

He had _left _me, and so he didn't deserve much anymore………………..

I hated him so much.

So, so much.

And yet now, here I was- two years later.

Still having the same fantasy, the same hate.

And yet now I was crying.

I was actually crying somewhat.

And it was because of him.

Because I missed him.

And now I found forgiveness possible.

The toy part I had so imagined had started to become only a myth…something I had told myself not to get my heart broken once again…

"_No, no, no Bella!" _I would scorn myself. _He _left _you- you don't _go back to _him. _

These thoughts had been coming an awful lot lately.

It was getting a bit more than scary.

I didn't like them.

And yet they didn't seem to leave.

And then I thought of forgiving him…of crying, of my truck exploding, of Alice counting down the seconds.

And so I knew it was time.

Time to confront him.

Time to get rid of him.

And then, I knew, I could get rid of myself.

These Indians couldn't have me forever.

I would begin my search within the hour.

And soon enough, I knew, Edward would be gone.

And then I would be gone.

And then I would be so happy.

Life was so great, I cried.

For the first time in my life, I was indefinitely happy.

There were so many promises in store for me now. And I could get them. And then I'd be happy.

"_We receive freedom after we have paid the full price,"_

_Rabidorath Tagore_

And the price was almost paid. Just had to find him, and get rid of him.

And then I could be happy.

At last.

**NOTE: OOH THANK YOU GUYS FOR READING! I hope you guys enjoyed it at least, I don't know how it sounds since I wrote it (authors can't read their own work really)- PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Tell me if you liked it, loved it, hated it, or that I could do better. Or that Bella and Edward could do better. Tell me if you have questions, or confused, have comments…PLEASE REVIEW!- in general, thanks for reading!**


	10. Attack

**MEMO: THANK you guys for reviewing! I'm SO happy, I noticed my alerts went up by like, 8 or something last chapter…and so THANKS again!**

**Note: I'm sooo sorry that I've taken so long to update- seriously, I mean it. I've actually been focusing on another story of mine- Twilight as well, sorry but I have to advertise, lol. I noticed that a lot of you guys said it was depressing, and just to let you guys know, ALL my stories are depressing, and they'll always be like that too…just to let you guys know. Although I do have a fairy tale happy ending written out for all of them, although I still have to type them, and I have no idea how to get there. **

**Disclaimer: You can't be serious…**

**Rosalie's View-**

Edward had began to scare both me and Alice alike. Looking at him made Alice tremble, and me alike- I shared the same secret as her. And then he read our minds…or at least part of it. And then he knew.

He knew that Bella was alive. That she was like him, a vampire type of thing. And he knew that she hadn't come for him…even after over two years had passed.

And now, he looked sadistic. He scared me, especially. _Me, _who usually scared the others- who loved show, and glamour and everything I could ever make out of what I had, - and now he scared me, for I knew I wouldn't have been thinking much about him otherwise…

I couldn't stand this. This, whatever Edward always seemed to be doing. He seemed to be planning something, as far as I could make out- his eyes always calculating. He was overdosing on Carlisle's drugs, a smile always playing on his lips. And he was just like he was before somewhat…he answered our questions, and could finally make us out one by one.

He laughed hysterically several times, for no apparent reason. He seemed to spend a more productive time in his room, I could only assume at a certain point, because he always came out happier than he'd walked in.

I had went into his room once, and saw that he had bought a pack of plastic knives…with Bella's picture on the wall. I wouldn't let the words form in my mind- the picture of it disturbing me. To being such sick of some love or so, Edward had changed…we never knew what was happening to him.

Edward used to speak of death, I recalled. Quite heavily. Saying how lucky humans were…and now he seemed to be thankful of life. At least as far out as I could see.

"Rose?" Emmet asked me, suddenly next to me, his voice only a whisper- not to scare me I thought.

"_What?" _I snapped. I always snapped now…perhaps that was why he had whispered- to prevent me from doing this.

"What did you and Alice do?' he asked, his voice gruff- the pain I could still make out however, his hurt I could always make out.

"How do you know that?" I trailed off.

"I'm not an idiot Rosalie, despite what you may think…" he said.

"I never," I said, lost to his accusations, bewildered actually. "Emmet, I-"

"Just stop it Rose," he said, interrupting me. "Just leave me alone."

He was pissed. That was only thing I could interpret behind his tone actually.

"Please don't be mad Emmet," I begged, enclosing his hands in mine- but then flinched when he snapped it back.

"NO Rosalie," he roared. "You _leave _me without a word, SO often, you keep things from me…you haven't considered me at all have you Rose?" he snapped. "From day one, you-"

"And you ask me why I leave?" I finished. "I leave because I'm a _girl _Emmet, we tend to get horomonal. I'm locked in this stage ALL my life, and pardon me for thinking that being with you was what I wanted…"

"What about Alice then?" he asked, getting cocky now- I saw.

"Alice was insane Emmet," I snickered. "She didn't experience any of that…I however did. I-"

"Everything's always about you, isn't it Rosalie?" he snapped. I knew he wouldn't listen to reason now, and as he left swiftly leaving me behind him- shocked- was when Edward came up. Out of nowhere actually- or perhaps I wasn't paying attention today.

"No you are," he laughed, answering my thoughts for me. "But don't worry about Emmet, I assure you Rosy that I won't be a problem for much longer." And before I could properly gather a reply back, a question actually- he was gone.

"Edward?" I asked, my voice only a whisper. Perhaps he hadn't forgotten about this Bella thing after all…and then once again, I didn't let my mind draw up my thoughts. Without Edward, I knew- we were nothing. We all were nothing. I didn't want this to happen again…and yet now, I realized, despite myself, it was.

**NOTE: MEANS SUICIDE FROM HIM IF YOU'RE CONFUSED!**

**Bella's View-**

My mind was contemplating quickly, actually- of how I would deal with this. Catch 'em and kill 'em, I said to myself- the catch phrase of Amityville Horror. Except I didn't like the catch part that much- that might include confrontation. And so I made my own.

"_Kill and kill," _I said to myself, knowing it wouldn't be that complicated. Kill him, I had thought up, and then kill myself. As easy as pie, I thought- deliriously happy!

And now he could experience the same pain he had put me through. The same pain, _love _that I had experience thanks to him, and then lost it…thanks to him. Making me believe that I loved him probably was his funniest trick of all…the cat just getting bored of the mouse, I knew.

Edward had left me, after he'd promised to change me…after he'd promised so much actually. And then he'd left…making me lose my own life in the process. And now being one of _his _kind, not that I had any disgust towards the cold-ones or whatever they were, really- I just didn't like one part of that group. That one part being him.

Thanks to Edward Cullen, I knew, I could never love again- that love that might have been someone else's I knew- someone I could truly be happy with. Mike Newton, I thought of instantly. I liked Mike I knew…and probably would have dated him for quite awhile- admiring his attention and dedication towards me a bit more than I should have two years ago, I knew. But then I knew, _he _had taken my perhaps one-true-love away from me. _He _had taken away all I had in life…all I had ever loved. And now I could never get it back.

I had never checked up on Charlie of course, scared that I would go back and Charlie would shun me out- Billy no doubt getting to him…Renee being the same case- only I didn't want to cause her any more pain after the death I had planned for myself soon enough. As far as they knew, I was dead- my remains for one thing already proved that, the blood at least I knew. That was unmistakable evidence of my demise. And I _was_ deceased I knew...both externally and internally. He had taken away all I once had.

And now he would have to pay.

I couldn't believe how I ever loved him.

And so quickly, making miscellaneous plans in my mind, I decided to creep up on him, catch him my surprise- making my move too fast for him to realize I was even there. Too fast for a confrontation.

That was something I couldn't face I knew. I needed to be quick before I could regret it. Get him, and then get me. I didn't want to feel the pain afterwards…I knew it would claw all I had left from the inside.

Knowing all I would need was a lighter, I had stuffed it in my back pocket. My once beau could easily be taken care of I knew. And I could be taken care of just as easily…perhaps Emmet would get angry, I cried to myself happily! Emmet could take care of me, rid me of them once and for all…rid me of myself.

Within a day, I had said goodbye to all my monotheist buddies and was saying the last of good byes.

I had already planned out where I was going to check first, being alone at the current moment. Finland probably missed me, I laughed to myself out loud.

And then, to my surprise, another voice joined mine. Except it was more like hysteria…bad, _bad, _hysteria I could make out.

Turning to see what idiot wished for death was it that I turned around.

The confrontation, I thought happily, wouldn't come. He was happy to see me, perhaps wanting to start the game all over again. And I could get him by surprise.

Without another thought, I roared and jumped him, knocking him over from the attack…

The fight had begun.

**NOTE: Here comes the action…I know rippedskies for one ( I really recommend reading her story) asked me for a update just recently, and so here it is. Hope you guys enjoyed it!**

**But it doesn't matter if you did or didn't- just REVIEW- lol!**

**Just kidding to the above by the way…!**

**BUT REVIEW!**


	11. I'm gonna make it hard for you

**Memo: Oooh- I'm happy, this is probably one of the fastest updates I've done, on this story at least I think…I'm too lazy to check though so that'll be it then I suppose…but THANK YOU GUYS FOR THE REVIEW!**

**Note: I understand I lost quite a few alerts actually on this, and I think a few favorites…and I understand that, I seriously do- but PLEASE tell me why if you do that, or if you stop reading or whatever. I'm changing the mood of this story that I know I've kept on going for too long…I'm probably going to stop this fanfic at chapter twenty just to let you guys know, or around that. BUT I do have a fairytale type of happy ending planned out at the end…**

**Disclaimer: You CANT be serious…**

**Edward's View-**

Seeing her for the first time in over two years, had knocked whatever sense I had built into myself out. I was breathless…and for the first time I realized that I was sorry.

So sorry for everything.

Sorry for leaving her.

Sorry for hating her.

Sorry for ever doing this to her.

And most sorry for condemning her to this life.

When I had seen her, I had become unconditionally happy. And it was at that point, I realized, that I couldn't do it. I couldn't destroy her…I'd rather that she destroy me, _hoped _that she destroyed me, which was what she was doing now.

If I wanted to die in anybody's hands I knew- it would be hers. I felt like such an idiot now actually, leaving her like this- making her go through all of this alone, and finally…for one second thinking that she had no feelings, had no thoughts- she deserved more than ever to hate me.

And now I was happy.

She was ripping at me, her claws tearing at my skin- it becoming dangerously close to cracking for however much longer she decided I could live…there was a scar on my brow now, as she pulled on my hair.

And so now, as my end was near, I just looked at her…to see how much she had changed in the past two years, and seeing her eyes I realized that she was fueled with something- hatred I knew…and this hatred could come in use.

I would only die happier, knowing she hated me that is. This way there was no way I could ever imagine of justifying myself in any way possible…trying to run or escape or anything. I knew I couldn't hit her, but I knew she could hit me. I knew I couldn't hate her anymore, but she was free to hate me since I willingly deserved it. And finally, I knew I couldn't destroy her, but she was more than welcome to destroy me.

**Bella's View-**

I kept tearing at him, endlessly for what seemed like forever…endless moments I knew I would never forget. I wanted to kill him once and for all…to get this over with. To get him over with, so for once in so many years I could move on. Once and for all.

But hitting him, I realized, I didn't know what was happening. He wasn't attacking back, but was just…numb.

He wasn't flinching, or backing off or any of that sort- instead in his eyes I could only see the most…_Stop it Bella, _I ordered myself, _Stop it. You've come so far, don't back out now…not yet, not when you finally have the chance._

"Fight _back _dammit," I screeched, my knee hitting his groin, causing him to bend over in pain while I smiled somewhat. This wasn't supposed to be this way. He was supposed to fight back as well…he was supposed to- and yet I didn't understand this.

"Fight back," I kept yelling at him, hitting him yet again and again. I didn't understand…but I was careful not to look into his eyes again- I knew that would undo whatever I had built in the past two years.

"_Fight," _I screamed at him. "Do _something!"_

And that was when I started crying I realized now. With the endless tears pouring down my face, I tried not to let him see…I didn't want him to think I was weak, just as I was weak when he'd first met me…

He kept reeling back to his standing position, every time I hit him- too quick for me to pin him down. He was there, standing above of me- a good eight inches down and looking at me.

And yet, I still made sure not to look at him. I had come too far to turn back now, and I knew looking at him would do just that…

Because part of me still loved him, but he couldn't know that. That part was for sure…

Because I knew what I had o- so many years ago, for I had lost track, was something I could never get back. All those endless toy thoughts I had put in my head…the cat and the mouse…and I knew just looking into his eyes for just one second would undo just all of that. This was the hate that fueled me I knew, and just one peek would take it all away, all that had brought me this far…for I knew without it, I would never have been alive today.

Despite my attempts, the tears kept rolling…the sadness still bubbling inside of me. And then I realized- I couldn't do this anymore.

And that was when I buried my head in his chest, crying my heart out endlessly- the tears rolling down from my face and dripping down onto his shirt. But what happened then truly astounded me, was when he wrapped his arms around my waist…and held me safe and sound from the calmaties of the world, and I forgot all my worries.

The moments never seemed to end…timeless moments stretching into minutes, and into hours…and the unseen silence between us was what held me still. He was careful, I had noted, to not say anything. And while I sobbed into his chest, he just held me…safe and secure- being cautious not to do anything more.

I began to feel awful for this- for doing all of this, for never finding him…for ignoring him completely for two years I now recounted, and then for attacking him…for wishing more stronger than anything that he could be dead. That the past two and a half years had never happened, that I had never met him…and now I simply felt awful.

I fell down to my knees crying even harder, his arms still around me somehow. _Edward, _I wanted to cry out, _go AWAY. Just leave me Edward, go find someone who loves you, who wants to be with you…don't waste your time with someone who wants to kill you, **tries **to kill you…_

"_Don't waste your time on me,' _I shrieked, stuttering, the words coming out shambled and in a wreck. "Please don't…"

He didn't reply, I noticed, but instead just held me tighter to his chest and started stroking my hair.

Within minutes however, I had stopped. Embarassed about what I had done and not wanting to face him was it that I kept my face buried into his chest. Grabbing for his other hand was it that I began to stroke it, _warm _I realized. And _smooth, soft._

Intrigued, I began to finger it effortlessly, amazed by my new discovery. Perhaps the only reason why I had thought he was so cold and hard before was because I wasn't like him…and now I was. Like an ant with human skin I thought, it trying to walk across the cold, hard surface…and I laughed.

Laughing brought back a fresh amount of tears, but yet it turned me to goo. A smile was playing on my lips then, exuberant from my discovery. That was until he lifted my chin up and said my name…

"Bella," he whispered, his lips barely parting. And I realized this was the one moment in all my life that I had been waiting for…that one moment when everything comes crashing down on you, like a bullet train it comes crashing down on you, with you unable to do anything.

It was that moment that girls could only dream about, and I realized my love life with him was never anything compared to what I felt now. The bubble that had burst in my chest erupted with such easiness it was almost impossible not to smile…almost. Until I looked up into his eyes.

_Honey. _I realized. The same color of butterscotch he had so many years ago…but a different shade. His eyes burned into mine with intense passion, the intensity behind them so deep that I lost myself in it.

That moment I thought I had just had however…that was nothing I suppose now, compared to this. When he did that, _and _said my name.

"_Why?' _I whispered asking him. "Why did you come back?"

"I don't know…" he replied, turning his face away from mine. I didn't question his words I realized…I was too entranced by him. Seeing him two years later hadn't changed anything about him, however he looked much lovelier than I had imagined, his skin smooth and soft to me at least, _warm…_

"Why?" he asked me then, eyes still to the wall.

"What?" I asked, not caring about whatever he would say…just to make him stay I knew I would do anything. Me and my selfish desires I knew…selfish enough for him to stay with me, to risk his happiness for the stake of mine…Selfish enough- I realized- to let him throw away his life for me…thinking about it gave me a headache, my heart seemed to beat again rhythmatically. The air in my lungs seemed to stop itself altogether then, my body frozen…

"Why'd you play that joke on me Bella?" he asked. "So many years ago."

And it was then that I realized I couldn't do this…couldn't ruin his life. And yet I knew I owed him answers.

"I was gonna make it hard for you," I whispered, hesitantly reaching my hand up to stroke his face gently. His high lined cheeks seemed so normal now to me…so precariously perfect- the face of an angel I knew I could never live without. And yet I had to, I knew, for his sake.

"You did," he whispered, his eyes finally touching mine (**AS IN LOOKING AT EACH OTHER PEOPLE, IF THIS SOUNDS WRONG OR SOMETHING). **

"I know," I whispered, this time taking my hands and enclosing his in it. "Please leave," I said, kissing his hand for one last time.

"Why?" he asked.

"I'm not good for you Edward…" I said, his name coming out of my mouth for the first time in so long.

"Bella," he whispered, his tone saddened, but understanding. "Please forgive me Bella, I swear…"

"No Edward," I cried, shaking my head and turning to face him, tears welling up in my eyes, "Don't you dare apologize to me. Don't be an idiot. What you did was smart, and I don't deserve you Mr. Cullen…"

And with that I began to walk away, turning my back to him and walking away for forever.

_To love and to have lost is better than to have never loved at all, _I thought. _Wrong._

Edward was everything of mine, everything I had ever had…ever wanted. And now I was walking away from my one true dream, from _any _girl's dream. But at least now I knew, I could make myself happy this way…it was the only way that he could be happy, could live a normal life. It was the only way for his family to move on, for them to find something better to do, to become someone new…and start all over again. And then, I imagined, he could find someone smart- an Indian, I thought. They were so smart…brilliant and yet never spent a single moment on studying. Like Sania Mirza she could be a world-class tennis player…unless Edward became gay of course, which I totally understood because of this reality he had faced with me.

He deserved someone better however, whether girl or guy- both I somehow understood, this experience with me would be enough to last anyone for a life time…the harsh trips I had brought into his life…

And yet I was walking away from my one true love. The only person I ever could love. But I was walking away I knew, _for _him, so he could live a normal life. So he could be happy. So he-

But half-way out was it that I was stopped. His hand had grabbed for my own suddenly, stopping me and my thoughts momentarily.

"What?" I asked, flabbergasted and then turning around. And yet again, I looked into his eyes.

The passion burning in yet again.

"This time," he said, his eyes even more intense than before- what I had thought impossible- "I'm gonna make it hard for you."

"_What?" _I asked, completely bewildered. He wasn't supposed to be here…Actually anywhere _except _for here…living his life like he should.

"I'm not going to make the same mistake twice Bella," he said. "I learn. I'm not going to let you walk away from me Ms. Swan…not this time."

And that was when the knight in shining armor scooped me up into his arms.

"_Not this time," _he breathed into my face, his cool air knocking everything out of me. And selfishly, I kissed him. And somehow or another- he was kissing me back.

And my world collided all at once.

"_Not this time," _he said again, breaking out of the kiss. "_Not again…"_

"_Why?' I asked._

"_It's as I said," he whispered, "This time, I'm gonna make it hard for you."_

**NOTE: I'VE SPENT MUCH too long writing this, so you have to REVIEW! This chapter was the most revised and so on of any chapter I've ever made, also longest time spent on a chapter goes to this one…so PLEASE REVIEW!**

**And by the way, I know the vampire thingies can't cry, but this is MY fanfic, and so PLEASE don't complain…THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEW!**


	12. Finland

**Memo: Ohmigosh! The last chapter had like, the most reviews of any chapters of this story! Thank you guys SO much.**

**Question: Did the last chapter's scene remind anyone of anything? I based it off a certain t.v. show- really popular one actually. Can anyone place it- even remotely?**

**Note: I have no idea why people don't read this (but I know I'm boring, lol) but sometimes it has important stuff in it. I got a few reviews last chapter asking me if this was the last part of the story, and to let you guys know it's NOT the last part. The last part's about 5 chapters away probably- haven't really planned anything out for it yet though.**

**Disclaimer: Again with the you can't be serious…**

**Bella's View-**

The romance that had begun with Edward had ended quite fast actually.

After a few moments of it- a few moments of a rekindled type of romance we had easily broken apart…

He had insisted on taking me home then, and I had agreed to go with him. Back to where the rest of the Cullens were, insisting the location a surprise I would find out later.

Two years though, and I saw- he still hadn't changed. My Edward was still the same as he had been back then, the same caring and considerate person he had been I could see, the same amount of lovely he'd been back then as well…the same loving or so supposedly person I could see. And it scared me…why hadn't he changed?

He still said to me that he loved me. That he had never stopped, and the reason that he had left was because this thing with Jasper- what had happened- next time it could be him that did it. And now, according to him- that wasn't a problem anymore since I was just like him now, at least- that's what he believed.

If he hadn't changed I knew, then he would probably still leave me again. Who knew for what reason this time, but the chances I knew all counted against me…there hadn't been much of a problem then for me it seemed, and I didn't see how now was different, but his views were so much different than mine. He hadn't changed from back then- he could, _would _still leave me. It wasn't safe I knew. No matter how much he begged to differ, he'd come back the same- unaffected from the past two years as far as I could see.

It was the reason things were so different for us now, so…akward.

Painfully akward.

"So how's India been?" he asked me then, trying to break the hour silence we had endured so far.

"Fine," I answered, hesitant. The most contact we were having was touching hands since then, and after that- none. And yet that was still a bit weird to me, personally- him as well though, I knew.

After a few more minutes, he asked "How long have you been there?"

"A while," I answered at last, taking my time. This is how it was…he didn't say much, I didn't say much. Two years and one would have thought a fire flamed rekindle, I laughed- but they didn't have the problem of one wanting to kill the other.

"Oh."

He was silent after that, and I watched the road as it passed. We were passing through Finland- the least corrupt country in the world I remembered, also the country in which I had almost killed a man, India- the country with the most murders- I actually had followed through with that.

I didn't ask questions though, it might have led to more akward conversation which I wasn't really looking forward to.

"You know," he whispered then, interrupting my thoughts- and then suddenly stopped, as if waiting to be told to go on.

"Yes?" I asked, curious to what he wanted to say. Perhaps it was a joke, I pondered- to try to lighten the mood. We both had tried quite a few so far, and yet it hadn't worked. Maybe he'd found one that could…

"Nevermind," he replied hastily, shaking his head.

"No," I urged, "Go on." These past few days I had somehow held myself, one way or another, but I wasn't sure if I could now- not at this point with him, alone. Just the two of us for the first time in so long…those memories from before though had been wiped.

"No," he shook his head again, frustrated. I noticed how his hand froze in mine, he seemed to remember that I wasn't the type to give up.

"Tell me," I ordered. "You always used to…"

"I wanted to kill you Bella," he whimpered. "When I found out that you were still alive, only a few days ago, I came and I wanted to kill you. I-"

But I wasn't listening anymore. My body froze, taking my hand out of his and laying it around my torso surreptiously (like she used to in 'New Moon'). I could feel my body begin to break apart again, like it had so many years ago- two now though, I knew. The only way I had kept myself whole was to maintain this hate for him, and now even that was gone. But now…the inklet I had left of it had just disappeared. _He hadn't know I was gone. That I was still alive, waiting for him. _

"Just leave Edward," I whispered, suddenly. "Please."

"_What?" _he asked, suddenly confused, an array of emotion playing across his face quickly, he had just realized what I had said.

"Stop the car," I ordered. "I want to leave." My voice was smooth and firm this time I knew, he would listen…he should have listened.

"NO Bella," he roared. "I'm not letting you get away from me again. Not this time."

"I don't deserve you," I whimpered, my eyes getting blurry. He should have let me leave…if he loved me, he should have.

"To hell you don't- but it's as I told you, this time, I'm gonna ma-"

"Shut up!" I roared. "I wanted you dead then, and I still do now," I shouted, the lies slipping out of my lips in a hurry. He deserved someone better…someone besides me. Someone who could love him like he deserved to be loved. Not me. "I don't want to kill you, but I absolutely _dread _being with you," I screeched. "I _hate _it, I hate _you!"_

Not a killer, a murderer. He needed someone else, I knew. Not me. Not me. Anyone _but _me.

The emotion around this was getting to my now, everything I had stored up was leaving now. I screamed and started to kick myself- I didn't want to do the same to this car like I had the last…

I began to hit myself, pounding my head on my lap, the crying coming from my lips not even being audible.

He didn't stop me though, and instead he spoke. His voice gentle, soft, and smooth…I almost stopped when I heard the tone behind them. Pain.

"It's my choice," he whispered, taking one of my hands from me. My lie had worked apparently…I noticed he had stopped the car. "Not yours this time. I left you once Bella, and I'm not going to do it again."

"Why not?" I asked, not even sure if my words were able to make any sense. "I hate you," I tried again.

"That's your problem," he snorted. "Not mine. I'm in love," he pointed out, grinning crookedly…the one I had loved so much. _Stop it, _ I ordered myself. _Don't get attached. He'll leave you…you'll leave him. You hate him, _I tried, trying to convince myself. _You hate him, _I tried again. _Hate! Hate! Hate! You hate him!_

That wasn't working either.

"You can't be serious," I chortled, apparently those attempts were useless. My own attempts were useless. "I tried to _kill _you. Normal people don't love their almost-killers."

"We aren't normal," he reminded me, squeezing my hand within his own. Why wasn't he listening to anything I was saying? I said I hated him, and I did. Why wasn't he leaving?

"We aren't special either,' I whispered, finally wandering away from my own thoughts.

"We're past them," he blew his breath in my face.

"Please leave," I cried, trying again despite myself. "I don't love you! This is pointless!"

He just laughed. "I'm gonna make it hard for you Bella. I don't care what you say. I'm going to…"

I looked out the window at that point- desperate to get away from what he was saying, me not crying anymore, and in front of me saw a sign of Italy. Using my vision, I periphelled my vision to look even farther away, confused. _United States._

He noticed my gaze of direction and laughed. He knew what I was thinking of…I had thought we were in Finland, for I hadn't paid attention to any of the other signs for the past two or three hours.

"Bella I love you," he reminded me. "I'm never going to stop. No matter what you say."

"I love you too," I gave up, the words coming out my mouth barely a whisper.

"First time you've said so," his hand froze. "Since then…"

I looked at him then, turning my head- not knowing what he was talking about. I had always loved him. But then, his beauty- his beautiful bronze hair, his butterscotch eyes even beating melted gold, his face just as smooth as before- with more color in it though, I noticed, then what I last remembered. I immediately understood what he was saying then, suddenly- the time I had played that joke on him. The joke that had cost me everything.

"Where are we?" I wondered, desperate to change the subject. We were finally communicating I knew, I just didn't want it to be about this. The akwardness suddenly seemed a lot more appealing than what we were saying now…

"I can't tell you," he chuckled, the sound though- I noticed- breathless. "We're almost there."

"We aren't going to your house are we?" I guessed. The signs were written in at least 12- 13 different languages. Save for two- I didn't recognize any.

"Nope," he said. I noticed the car was still not moving.

"What are we doing then?" I asked, confused.

"This," he sighed, and then leaned forward to kiss me, gently and yet roughly at the same time.

I broke apart first. "This?" I questioned. He just shrugged though, and leaned in again, it lasting for only a moment. He was driving again, his hand still enclosed around mine.

"You don't think I'm a perv, do you?" he laughed. "That we could have done anywhere. No, we're going somewhere else."

"Where?" I asked, the curiousity this time I knew actually _would _kill me.

"Close your eyes," he whispered. I silently obeyed, resisting the urge to peak.

"This is ridiculous," I snapped. "Where are we?"

I knew I wasn't in the car anymore, he was leading me somewhere, _carrying _me somewhere.

"Open your eyes," he whispered.

"Wha-" I began.

But apparently, I noticed, Edward had found a better place for what we were doing before as he leaned forward and kissed me again. "I love you," he whispered.

And I realized I was living every girl's dream. To be told that she was loved. To be kissed in the moonlit sky, brightened by fireworks. To be held by a prince Charming, to be held by _the _Prince Charming. To be in a fairytale.

He set me down then, but proceeded to kiss me more. "Where are we?" I laughed, my voice breathless. I couldn't see anything…

"Disneyworld," he answered, irritated, and tried to lean in once more.

"Disneyworld?" I asked, still confused.

"Japan." Yipee.

**Note: REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!** **You guys asked for fluff, and so here it was! Hope you liked it, but please**

**REVIEW!**


	13. The proposal

**Memo: I'm SO sorry it took me so long to update, this story really has got me all confused lately. I have no idea of where to take it from here- I actually had this idea for awhile, but I wasn't sure on what your initial reactions would be, and so don't assume or dump this story, lol, until the next chapter!

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**Answer: Angel, in that scene with Faith!! Do any of you guys remember? It used to be a REALLY hit show and all, but ended less than two years ago! The reruns ended recently as well, but oh well- that's the answer.

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**Disclaimer: These are quite fun to write actually…even though there's no point to it- since I'm not posting anything of copyrighting (Stephenie Meyer can't sue a minor!- well at least anyone under eighteen, lol!)

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**Edward's View-

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I watched her the whole time. Japan was definitely someplace I knew she hadn't

suspected- but it had been in my mind for so long. I had been waiting for this moment for what seemed like eternity- to me of all people at least.

It seemed to be my life mission now, to make her happy. To do what I could, to do what I couldn't- anything at all to see her laugh.

We went around for hours, the ferris wheel seeming to be her favorite ride- apparently she still enjoyed cotton candy. Not having it for two years, even when to me it tasted like dirt, still stood for something I could imagine.

"Edward," she squealed, gripping my hand harder, "let's go on it again!"

"Isn't three times in a row enough for you," I chuckled, pocketing the ring in my hand instinctively. It wasn't time for it just yet…

"Stop fooling around," she pounced, "the line only keeps getting longer!"

"Let's go somewhere else first," I suggested lightly. I didn't want to discourage her- but I didn't want to do the opposite as well, and encourage her repeatedly until she was sick of it, and it would be too late.

She turned to stare at me then, shock written across her face. This was the first time I had objected to anything tonight with her. "Oh," she stuttered, lost for words- and then began laughing lightly. "I was wondering when you'd say something Edward. I was beginning to think that you'd lost all of those opinions you once seemed to be so fond of."

"You wish," I snorted, and dragged her beside me, laughing.

"Where are we going anyway?" she asked, noticing how we were walking past most of the fun apparently.

"You'll see," I told her, looking behind and smiling. I knew she wouldn't like it…right now. So I didn't tell her.

"Edward Cullen," she stage-hissed, "I swear to you, if you're doing anything that involves the following of- getting thrown at with any variety of beverage, snack, meal or food, for _any _type of person, I swear that you're going to-"

But she stopped once she saw where we were, and began to bite her lip hesitantly. I smiled at the fact that she was too preoccupied with her rant to see the signs…

"And that must be the Mrs.," the man said, dressed in a water, fire and dust proof tux.

"Miss," she corrected, squeaking- staring at the boat swans running adrift in the river…I froze though, when I saw her initial reaction. I didn't expect it to register to her just yet, and then again- so late. The Miss part definitely was something I intended on changing…tonight as well.

"Oops," the man sighed, "my mistake. You two just looked so…" he trailed off, searching for words.

"Close?" I tried.

"Yes," he agreed, slightly smiling. I was glad she couldn't read minds…**For a reason OTHER than the attraction one...you make sense of that one!**

"Well you have to be to come on here," I agreed. He had no idea how right that was.

"Edward," Bella squeaked, her hand shaking in my own. "The ferris wheel could have been better you know, if you-"

"Bella," I stared at her, smiling crookedly, "I haven't talked to you in the past two years, do you believe I'm going to let an opportunity to do so again slip away from me just because you want to spot what type of cotton candy some boy has a mile off?"

"Shut up,' she giggled nervously.

I smiled as she stepped on. This was going to be fun.

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**Bella's View-

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I had no idea what he was planning. We had already had one of _those _sessions in the car, and we knew that we couldn't relive it again here. We couldn't talk freely because of the man here as well, and so that would be a problem.

And I had no clue whatsoever of what Edward was planning. I mean, I had none before- but now I just found myself stared stiff. I wasn't ready to get so deep in a relationship just yet…

"How long is this?" I gulped, and asked the man who was rowing- quite slowly too I gaped in horror.

"About three and a half miles," he answered calmly, smiling to himself.

"Three and a half miles?" I repeated, trying to confirm. "At the speed of hour per mile too?" I was going to fly into hysterics…

"Not quite,' he chuckled, and then shut up. I wanted to wipe that smug smile he'd had since we had come here right off his face…

"Why are we on here?" I asked, turning my head around and pinching Edward. I was so happy that at last it would actually hurt him- after a year of being together with someone – the last two years now only were a distant memory- about three years ago, you really don't forget how angry they had made you, and how powerless you were. The memories in my mind of that were still fresh- it was that which had haunted me hourly everyday for the past two years.

"Bella," he rolled his eyes, "please don't be difficult. I've been on all your rides for the past hour. Can we _please _just enjoy this one for once?"

"We're doing absolutely _nothing," _I pointed out. "And unless you plan on pushing me in the water- which you better not do because I'm wearing silk- is it that you-"

But he had started laughing- and right in the middle of my threat as well. I stopped to glare at him- but noticed that he was simply laughing not with me- but with the boat rower as well.

I wanted to knock _both _of them in the water.

"Edward Cullen," I threatened, pinching him again, "don't do that again. I mean it. I-"

"Relax Bella," he sighed, trying to shush me. "It's already been an hour."

"A what?" I asked, glancing down at my wrist- which was now empty- "It's been more like five minutes," I bewildered. Obviously he was messed up.

"What time is it?" I asked, instantly suspicious.

"Bella," he sighed again, "I took _both _of our watches and put them in the car, remember?"

Sadly for me, I did. I just hadn't remembered it. Perhaps my first date with Edward was fun after all…I could only hope it ended this way as well.

"Bella I love you," he said suddenly, and looked at me- his eyes highly amused I could easily see. I didn't understand that either… "And I'd never do anything to hurt you, you understand that right?" he asked.

"You already did," I reminded him. I didn't want to think about that again. "Back then, when you…"I trailed off. Saying it would conjure up memories.

"Do you trust me Bella," he asked, reaching for my other hand- an anxious expression in his eyes – "Do you?"

I froze in terror. He wasn't doing this, I gasped. He _couldn't _be doing this, we'd just gotten back together after all!

"Edward," I said, my breath coming in ragged gasps, "whatever you want to say, can you-'

"Just answer the question Bella," he interrupted, the tone in his voice urgent. "Now."

"Okay," I sighed, "I do. Now-"

But I didn't get an opportunity to say anything more after that…the boat went catapulting off the river at that point- and into a pool.

Apparently that was never his plan- to push me in the water. He was going to let gravity do that _for _him.

I could swear that I heard him chuckling all the way down. The tower seemed to be doing the same- still in the swan somehow, up the falls.

"I'm going to kill you," I screeched at him- my face turning dangerously red I knew. "I swear to god to you Edward that I'm going to-"

But I stopped and glared at him again. We still weren't all the way down- and yet he was still laughing, not listening to a word I was saying.

"Relax," he crooned, and eloquently put himself into a dive like position and gracefully sank to the bottom. I wasn't all that fortunate however, and fell in flailing my arms- never mind the screaming part.

"What is this?" I growled at him, once I was treading water. "You ruined my top!"

"And you accused _me _of ruining the fun," he sang, ignoring me.

"I hate you," I snarled dangerously at him.

"You never answered the question though," he said, turning away and swimming back to shore.

"Do you love me?"

"I already answered that," I pointed out. "In the car!"

"But there's always a chance you changed your mind," I could hear his voice echo. "That you thought it through and that-"

"Edward," this time it was me laughing. "I'll always love you, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"Really?" he asked, and suddenly was in front of me. "You're sure about that?"

"Yeah," I whispered. "Positive."

He was searching his pockets for something then, both of us still in the water.

"What is it?" I asked, slightly breathless.

"Just one second," he replied, a hint of frustration in his tone. "Got it," he exclaimed.

"What," I asked curious, and tried to see what he was holding.

"Will you marry me Bella?" he asked. "For once and for all?"

He looked so hopeful, so determined…so set of this plan. I didn't want to see him like this- not when I was going to break his heart.

"Edward," I began, the throb in my heart I knew was visible in my voice. "I don't…I don't think we're ready for that just yet. I-"

"Don't you love me?" he tried again, desperate.

"I do Edward. But I- Edward I need a chance to clear my mind. Okay? I need to-"

"Please Bella," he begged, taking one of my hands in his. "For me. For _us." _

"I don't think I can," I whispered, and swam away. I got out of the pool, not bothering to take a glance behind me. I knew he was still there- wondering why I had turned him down.

But I wasn't ready. I didn't know what to do. I ran away- crying all the way. I wasn't over India just yet…but he'd find me there I knew.

I couldn't do this. I couldn't get my heart mangled up all over again. Perhaps he'd leave me at the altar or something...just as I would begin to hope. Just as I had finally developed the courage too as well- I knew he would probably leave. Remember that I wanted him dead. Had sworn to that today as well…

I ran away crying, not caring where I went. Anywhere would be better than here.

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**Note: Oooh!! Hoping you guys enjoyed! There was quite a bit of fluff in here, I know, but seriously- I know people like that, but now of course- two chapters of fluff and that's pretty much it for a bit.

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**Okay, new question- do you want me to keep them together, or separate them?

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**I'm leaving it in your hands, all though I'm really leaning towards the second one and probably WILL do just that if I don't get enough people wanting me to put them together. **

**Tell me what you think, what your answer to that is, and please REVIEW!!**

**Hope you enjoyed by the way!**


	14. Eternally Waiting

**Memo: Sorry it took me so long to update- recently started another story...

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**Note: THANK YOU guys to all who reviewed- some of you guys actually guessed what I was probably was going to make the plot...**

**It helped- **

**It was funny though, lol- everyone wanted them to stay together!!

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**Sidenote: OHMIGOD!!- okay, for those people in America- you know for the whole entire elections thing, right?- It's ridiculous, my family didn't receive any reminder to vote or register or anything, and I checked with relatives, quite a few of them didn't either**

**The few who did, voted Republican two years ago...the those who didn't receive them voted Democrat!!- did anyone else notice this??

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**Disclaimer: No such thing!!

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**Bella's view-

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Silently walking away, recovering myself, I seated myself at a bench in the park; my hands around my knees, rocking me back and forth.

I waited silently for him to approach, to live up to what he had said "_This time, I'm gonna make it hard for you."_

He had lied though apparently, he was never going to. I had left, and he wasn't coming...

Perhaps, I rejoiced, he had finally figured out the truth! That I wasn't good enough for him, that it would be best if he left me!! This way he could be happy, safe, and content!

I had already caused too much pain in the first place, and I didn't want to do it again.

The saddest part was however, that I wanted just _so _badly to accept, to be with him forever. Just the two of us.

That couldn't happen though, I knew, I had already turned him down.

Closing my eyes, and letting the tears flow freely down my face, I thought of Rosalie.

"_Hey Rose," I had asked. "Can you send this to Charlie and Mom and everyone." I had handed her the money back._

"_Nonsense Bella," she had replied. "I gave that to you. If you want though, I'll send them some more. You can believe me when I say that I've made more than enough to go along in my life. Almost 75 years of collecting gets you bored. With Emmet too..." she had trailed off._

"_Well, thanks anyways," I had replied, still holding the money out. "Still take it though. I assure you that I want nothing to do with it. I still will pay you back for your generosity however. Bye then," I had said, putting the money on a counter when I left the room, leaving her puzzled._

"_Hey Bella," she had called, coming after me. "Take my number. And you also, just to let you know, will have problems adjusting when it comes to the sleep counter. For about a year I think- or less depending on who knows what- you'll have the capability of sleeping, but probably no more than that. You won't need it, just to let you know," she had finished, handing me a paper which I assumed had her number on it. I had been right. _

I remembered something more now- the look of puzzlement in her eyes, the generosity she had showed.

"_Don't worry Bella," she had said when I thanked her for the money, "what are sisters for?"_

"_Sisters?" I asked, obviously confused at the moment._

_She shrugged, smiling to herself. "Yeah," she nodded. "I guess we are now."_

"_So as sisters," I wanted to ask now, two and a half years later, "will you accept me now that I've turned down your brother?" I wanted to cry._

"_Are you still there for me?"_

My eyes still closed, I remembered her number. Everlasting memory apparently _did _have it's advantages.

Taking my phone out of my pocket blindly- thankful it was waterproof- I dialed the number instantly, putting the phone to my ear.

The phone brought instant relief to my ear, it's coolness calming me. The vibrations giving me a headache...taking my mind off of him.

Biting my lip, I trembled as I heard the first "Hello?"

"Rosalie?" I cried, squeezing my eyes shut harder. "It's me," I muttered, not bothering to say my name; it brought back too many memories.

"Bella?" she gasped as I winced.

"Yeah," I answered. "Did I bother you or anything?" I asked, hoping she'd say yes. "I'll hang up if you want me to Rosalie, if you don't want to hear my voice or anything, I'm sorry for-"

"Stop being such an idiot Bella," she laughed into the phone. _Liar, _I cried,I could hear her voice trembling. "Now why did you call?"

"I," I began, ":I-"

"What happened to Edward?" I heard a much gruffer, and harder voice into the phone now- Emmet. "What did he do to you?"

"Stop it Emmet,' I heard Rosalie hiss, "She'll tell us when she's ready, she-"

"He's fine Emmet," I began, "He-"

"What did he do to you?" Emmet asked again into the phone. "We've been trying to contact him forever, but he's not answering-"

"He didn't do anything Emmet," I interrupted, my voice suddenly hoarse. "Can you please hand it back to Rosalie?"

My hand was shaking around the phone, trying to near any source of comfort.

"Sorry about him Bella," she started. "Don't worry, I'll slap him for you later," she laughed. "But-"

"He proposed Rosalie," I cried, clenching my other hand into a fist. "At DisneyWorld too...Japan," I clarified. "I turned him down Rose," my throat made into a knot, "I-"

"Bella, I'm sorry," she started. "I don't think I'm the right person for this. Bella, I'm sorry, but I-"

I didn't bother listening to the rest though.

I needed comfort, and not an excuse.

Body trembling, I called the only other number I could for support.

My mother.

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**Rosalie's point of view-

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"Why did you do that Rose?" Emmet asked beside me, curious to why I turned her down.

I sighed at his utter simplicity, and ignored him.

"I mean," he said, "you could have given it to Alice. She just turned down Edward you know," he started, "you should have at least done _something _Not left her like you did. She-"

"Shut up Emmet," I rolled my eyes. "Only she can help her self through this. She doesn't _need _my advice for this. It's her own decision, not one I can make _for _her."

'Why?" he asked, persistant.

"You're not a girl Emmet," I sighed again, "you wouldn't get it."

Thankfully, he shut up. To me it didn't make sense why I did that either, in truth, but I knew it was best for her.

She could only make this decision by herself, and I couldn't put any intake on it.

It wasn't for me to make. It was her own decision, her own actions, and she had to get herself through it.

It was, besides the point, the only way I had gotten Emmet.

She had to follow her heart, as dead as it may be, and help make her go through this

**(Note: she's NOT selfish, she's just trying to make Bella make her own decision)

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**Renee's view-**

Gardening was _not _an easy task, I sighed. The amount of weeds that I had to get rid of, basically told me that flowers weren't worth it.

I had no idea how people did this.

Breathing in again, I pulled out another weed, straining my neck.

A quartet of dafodils weren't worth two hours of almost breaking my disc...

"Phil," I cried, not caring that he had a game in two hours. He could wait, I couldn't. "I need help!"

"Just give me a minute," he barked from the kitchen, on the phone. It was the reason I loved him, ever since Bella- I gulped- left, he was constantly by my side. "There's someone on the phone for you," he said. "One of your girlfriends probably, I think," he clarified.

"Tell her to call back later," I gasped, struggling to pull a weed out.

"She's crying," he cringed, "really loud."

"Oh,' I let go, and turned to face him, "it'll take a minute. You can do this for a bit."

"No problem," he walked over and pecked my cheek. "Take as long as you want."

"Hello?" I said into the phone. "Who is it?"

"Mom?" a voice whispered into the phone, "It's me."

I froze, my breath caught in my throat, and began to cry.

"Don't call here again," I cried. "I lost a daughter already- there's no need for anyone to remind me! You bi-"

"Mom," the voice tried again. "It's me Mom, I'm alive."

"Bella?" I gasped, my face crumpling.

Phil, who I noticed was watching me, suddenly became furious.

"We can't have these calls anymore," he shouted, his face blown up and red. He lunged for the phone, but I moved out of the way.

"One minute Phil,' I whispered, "give me a minute."

"Why are you doing this to me?" I whispered into the phone, "can't you just leave me alone?"

"Mom," she tried again, "Alice saved from the crash Mom, all those years ago. It's me- for real mom, it's _Bella,"_ she said.

"My Bella died two and a half years ago," I snapped, my heart pounding against my ribs. "She-"

"Alice saved me," she said. "I love you Mom," she said, "I would never lie to you."

"Bella?" I cracked, my voice hoarse and bare. I couldn't breathe...It was her.

"Yeah Mom,' she laughed silently, "I've missed you so much. I'm in Japan right now, don't ask why though. I-"

"I've missed you so much Bella," I cried, panicking. Bella was alive! "What happened to you?"

"Edward found me," she whispered. "In India."

"India?" I asked, trying to make small talk. "What were you doing in India?"

"I was a God," she laughed. Bella's laugh, I noted...having not heard it in so long..."_The _God actually," she laughed.

"Ohmigod Bella," I gasped, realization finally hitting me. "You weren't trafficked were you? Ohmigod Bella! I just watched Human trafficking sweetie on Lifetime- it was awful! How did you escape?"

"Relax Mom," she sighed, "I'm fine. I wasn't trafficked. Um, Mom, I can explain when I get there."

"Oh Bella," I sobbed into the phone, my heart sputtering.."I've missed you so much Honey. So much."

The line went dead.

* * *

**Bella's view-

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**

An arm wrapped around my waist, and I froze, shutting off the phone as soon as I realized who it was.

Opening my eyes for the first time in five minutes, I looked over to see Edward next to me.

"What are you doing?" I asked, silently.

"Here," he said, and handed me a card and a pamphlet. "There's about four thousand, give or take, in cash with your tickets. Keep the card for my bank account if you need more," he explained next to me, smiling.

"Aren't you mad," I asked, "that I turned you down?"

"I can't force you into anything," he shrugged. "Perhaps you're right. Perhaps we-"

"Give me seventy-five days," I gasped, feeling the tears start again. Why was he so great?

"Two and a half months," he chuckled. "Should have guessed."

"Yeah," I smiled, happy that he figured it out.

"Take as long as you need,' he shrugged. "I can wait. I-"

"Thank you Edward," I smiled, standing up.

"Don't be," he whispered, reaching for my face. "I'll wait as long as you need Bella, never forget that."

"I have to go Edward," I whispered, turning around and stepping back. "I-"

"Bye," he grinned crookedly. The one I loved so much..."I'll-"

Taking another step, I turned to kiss him on the cheek. "I'll be eternally grateful," I whispered, and left.

* * *

**Edward's point of view-**

"And I'll be eternally waiting," I finished.

I didn't think she'd heard though. She was gone.

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**NOTE: TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!

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	15. Bella

**Memo: I am SOOOOOO happy at all the reviews I'm getting!!- seriously!!-**

**Lol, I'm not bothering to update on my other fanfics because I'm not so happy at the amount of reviews that _they're _giving me- but you guys are just AWESOME!!- I just love it, and want to thank you guys so much!!

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**Note: This story will probably be done in a few chapters-

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**Disclaimer: Readers should know this…**

**Bella's View-

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I had hopped onto the first flight from here to Jacksonville; I knew since Phil's signing my Mother hadn't moved.

Two years with numerous servants in my hand had to give me something to do…they actually _did _have education, much to my surprise, and knew how to use the internet (a few of them).

Edward's money had provided the ticket, also the travel goods I had brought from Japan to give to her. I knew she had always wanted to explore the world…

The plane trip was rather short, seven (guessing here!) hours seemed to flow by in minutes. I didn't know what I'd do when I'd see her, what she would say- how would she react to my new look?

I don't think she'd believe I'd had plastic surgery…she'd inquire where I'd gotten the money from, if I had so much money, why hadn't I contacted her- but more reasonably, she'd probably assume my traffickers had done this to me…

Arriving in Miami, I knew there was still an hour till the next flight to anywhere near Jacksonville- which would take at least half an hour all on it's own.

Bored, and trying to shut off my panic for what might happen between my Mother and me, I started to dial Edward's number…he had given it to me before we had parted.

In the terminal, and doing nothing- I knew I had nothing else left to do besides this…I just _needed _to hear his voice.

Despite myself, flashbacks began to appear before me…the first time he took me running- how happy he was; the book-store incident so long ago…how angry he was; the-

I stopped myself, and knew where I was taking this.

"_Give me seventy-five days," _I had said to him then, and even then- the tears had begun to form…and even now I realized- they were coming up again…

Trembling, and punching in the last number, I put the phone to my ear to hear the dials. He picked up on the first one…

I knew what I had to do. Too bad for me though that I wasn't able to...

* * *

**Edward's View-

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**

"Hey Bella," I murmured casually into the phone, flashing a quick finger to the clerk- The currency in Japan for the yen I knew was _not _90 yen per dollar, the government hadn't changed it yet…this man was trying to loot me out of my mandatory 115-. "How's Renee taking it?"

On the other line though, I only heard a panting sound from the other line…what was happening?

"Bella?" I asked, confused. I thought this phone covered world-wide at perfect signals- and so far it had worked too…

But I knew I hadn't called America yet, perhaps it worked differently with the wannabe satellites they had going on there, I wondered…

"Sorry about the phone line," I apologized, "I didn't know this phone would mess up on me. Here-" I offered, "give me your number, and I'll see if I can try to call you. Oh wait no," I slapped my forehead, laughing to myself at my utter stupidty, "that wouldn't work, how about you hang up, and-"

"Edward?" a voice said through the line. I froze.

"Bella?" I asked quietly, turning my head from the Japanese man's careful scrutinization. "What happened?"

"Edward," she started, her voice unusually clear, "I-I'm sorry Edward. I have to go, my flight's departing right now. Sorry to bother you, I-"

"It's all right Bella," I said carefully, pulling my palm pilot out of my coat. "I'll talk to you-"

"_I'm so sorry Edward" she whispered, _not allowing me to finish. _"So very, very sorry."_

"For what?" I asked, confused once again. She didn't answer though, for she had already hung up.

Holding the palm pilot to my face, I smiled at how ironic it was actually-

According to Northwest airlines, Bella's flight to Jacksonville wouldn't take off for at least another hour…

_Screw it, _I thought; smiling to myself, _if she can't talk to me, then why can't I talk to her?_

**(NOTE: okay, and for those of you who haven't figured this out- Edward is between the half way happy for her line/depressed for himself- we've actually seen him (in other circumstances of course) like this in the book)****

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Renee's View-

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**

Phil was holding me, I came to realize. Turning my head to try too look at him, I found it pointless- everything was black…

I knew I had fainted…Bella had hung up on me though!

She had called me after over two and a half years, and _hung up on me!_

Perhaps, I procrastinated, it had never been Bella all along. Perhaps it was one of those- I didn't allow myself to think the words- kids…

The type whose only source of fun came from making a mother on the verge of tears…

On a verge of once-again loss…

"Are you awake?" I heard Phil whisper next to my ear.

"Yeah," I gasped, some color finally coming into view. "What happened?"

"You fainted,' he sighed. "You should have let me take care of that phone call."

"It's not my fault Jacksonville's not that friendly of a city,' I objected, smiling- knowing he was right. My Bella, I knew, would never have hung up on me like that, definitely _not _after telling me that she was alive after two and a half years…"How long have I been out for?"

"Just a bit," he shrugged casually, turning his face.

"Phil," I groaned and holding my hand to stroke his face, "you know what the Coach said, he'll kick you out of the team Phil, out of your _dreams! _And wasn't this the game from where the Bucks (**Baseball team's- at least I think!) **coaches were coming…"

"It's no big deal,' he shrugged again. "Nothing big."

"This was your _dream _Phil," I sighed, getting up. "Everything you've worked for. Every time this happens you can't miss a game like this."

"It's nothing Renee,' he objected, getting up himself off the bed. "I-"

"What time is it?" I snapped, angry at him for doing this again. "Maybe you could still make it."

"Eleven's not that great of a time to meet a three o'clock game," he grinned, and left and the room.

To see if he was joking, I turned over casually to see the time…he was right.

"I'm sorry Phil," I moaned to myself quietly, and turned over, allowing sleep to take over.

**

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Rosalie's View-

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**

"So Bella called," I casually mentioned to Alice, bending down to help shovel out the dirt…I still didn't know what the use for planting tulips were.

"And,' she beckoned, shrugging. _Liar, _I smirked, feeling her body freeze next to mine.

"What happened to her?"

"Edward proposed apparently," I sniffled, a bit of dirt getting into my nose. "And she didn't know what to do. She-"

"She _left _him like that for over _two _years Rose- and on medication too. And you let that _bitch _(**sorry about the language**!) talk to you after so long, like nothing was ever wrong?" Alice shrieked.

Beside being close to Bella while she was here, I knew, she was much closer to Edward.

"Yeah," I waved it off, "can we get off this subject now?"

"_NO!" _she shrieked, causing me to put my hands up to my ears. Apparently my question wasn't the right one to ask. "Do you even _care _for Edward Rose, that you let that girl destroy him like that? Do you Rose, have you _ever _cared for anyone besides yourself? Seriously Rose, do you even take it into _consideration _that there are other people besides yourself in the world. Have you-"

"Just stop it," I yelped, slapping her across the face. These were the same words Emmett had said…

And with that, he still didn't trust me like he used to, he didn't even _love _me like he used to…

Bella had ruined everything it now seems.

"Stop what Rose," she challenged. "Stop what? Stop saying the truth for once, that you've _always _been like this? Changing Emmet, I know you did, just because you wanted him with you. You-"

"Get the hell out of my life Alice,' I snapped, and walked away.

This was ruining everything.

Doing the only thing I knew I could, I called Edward.

"Edward," I snarled, once he had picked up the phone.

"Yes," he replied quietly. I wondered what had happened…it wasn't of concern right now though.

"Where's Bella?"

"Try Miami,' he laughed silently. "Why?"

"Come back Edward," I whispered then, "Bella needs you- she called me. She-"

"What?" he asked, confused.

"She didn't know what to do, and so she called me. She-"

"What did you say?" he asked, distracted by my beginning.

"I told her I wasn't the right person to ask," I shrugged. 'I wasn't though- Emmett doesn't understand. I wasn't the person to decide for her. Alice is screaming at me right now about this as well, and-"

"Alice?" he asked, baffled once again.

"She's overly protective of you," I laughed to myself, "seriously. She-"

"I'll meet Bella in Jacksonville then-"

"_We'll _meet Bella in Jacksonville then," I smiled.

"What?" he asked.

Smiling to myself, I shut off the phone and got in the car…

None of them wanted me here anyway, and it was time to fix it…

* * *

**Renee's View-

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**

"_And I'm sorry," I heard Phil say, "for ever marrying you."_

"_Same with me Mom," Bella sang, "for never separating myself from you earlier."_

"_Me the most of course,' Charlie chuckled quietly behind the two of them, 'for ever falling in love with you."_

"_I'm so sorry," I could hear myself crying, "so very, very sorry. I-"_

"_Sorries aren't going to make up for the Coach kicking me off the team," Phil added silently._

"_They aren't going to bring me back to life."_

"_And they aren't going to help me go back in time now, is it?" Charlie said. "It's not going to make me love again, can it?"_

"_I'm sorry," I whispered meekly to the three of them. "I'm-"_

"_I can't ever get married Mom," Bella whispered, "how are you're sorries ever going to count for anything? I can never have kids Mom- never fall in love, or even go to college. What are your sorries going to do?"_

"_I can't do anything besides play ball now can I Renee?" Phil added, smiling to himself. "I suppose you'll leave me now because I can't do anything besides that."_

"_And you've of course already thrown me out of your life twice now," Charlie laughed, "taking Bella with you each time."_

"_What?" I asked him, confused by what he meant by the second time._

"_She was depressed Renee, you made her hate me- you helped cause enough depression for the explosion."_

"_You lost me everything I've ever worked for," Phil barked, "and what are you going to do for that? Say sorry, oh yeah Renee, now that's going to make up for over 35 years of work."_

"_And I can just forget ever living now can't I Mom?" Bella challenged. "Ever having a life. You-"_

"JUST STOP IT," I screamed, waking up next to Phil

"What happened," he asked quietly.

"Nightmare," I shrugged. "Same one that happens every night. What time is it?"

"One. And are you ever going to tell me what it's about?" he asked, his tone quiet- his hope none.

"Sorry," I murmured, and tried going back to sleep.

As soon as I closed my eyes though, I saw Bella's face again…and I knew she was the cause of all this. The relationship with Charlie was broken with her birth, I would never have ruined one man's dream if she hadn't been there…and I-

I stopped myself right there however, I always knew I was an awful mother. And now I was blaming it all on my deceased daughter, the one who did so much for me…the one who helped me through all these years, introduced me to Phil- the one who…

I didn't get to complete my thoughts though, because at the very time,

the doorbell rang…

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**NOTE: Renee was just dreaming too- in the Italics …**

**Okay, and so now I think about two chapters are left in total (I've got the perfect song for it too!!)**

**Or perhaps even one chapter left- I actually have words written out for another story (non fanfic) and am going to use it on here- except of course, I don't know how many words it is since it isn't typed, that and I can't read my own handwriting, lol!!**

**REVIEW!!**

**SERIOUSLY THOGH!!- I haven't bothered updating on two other fanfics because I'm kinda disappointed on their lack of reviews, and the only reason I'm doing it on this one (seriously) is because you guys reviewed so much!!-

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	16. Finale Part One!

**MEMO: The reason, I have to admit- the reason this wasn't posted earlier is because I HATE parting with you guys- seriously**

**You're my MOST supportive group (ever)**

**And I want to thank you guys SOOOOOO much**

**I've broken this up into two parts (and taken out my huge authors note with it, lol) because it was way too long, and I didn't know if you'd like reading through all of it-**

**Disclaimer: One chapter left. And because Alanis Morisette is so awesome- lyrics for "Ironic" belong to her.

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**Bella's View-

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_An old man turned ninety-eight  
He won the lottery and died the next day  
It's a black fly in your chardonnay  
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late  
Isn't it ironic... don't you think_

Standing outside the doorway for me now was definitely one of the hardest moments, I found, that I'd ever gone through-

Renee's breathing was wild and coarse, not knowing what to expect in the doorway.

That was _my mother _I knew I had done this to- drove her to this…this behaviour from her was one I'd definitely never seen from her before-

She hadn't even done this when her two year boyfriend had broken up from her…and I- her daughter- was making her do this…

It was better now, I believed, if I really _had _been dead all along.

"You didn't order pizza, did you?" she asked Phil hoarsely, her voice only a whisper.

He nodded towards her silently, and shouted out, "Who is it?"

Opening my mouth to say "Bella," I shut it…I was lost for words. I knew what I was doing was wrong, coming to Renee's door, a completely new person, after letting her believe for the past two and a half years that I was dead. What type of daughter was I, I wondered? Seriously- how could I do that to her, and how could I be here?

Before I could react though, the door opened in my face.

"Bella," Renee opened her mouth to say, cowering behind Phil. "Is that really you honey," she whispered, "Is that really you?"

For the first time in so long, I realized I had made my mother cry.

"Bella,' she shrieked, hurtling through Phil's broken expression to come my way. "What happened?"

Still, I found, I was lost for words. Lifting my eyes to meet Phil's, I came to know what I had done to the two of them- just today at that.

"I'm sorry Mom," I whispered, hugging her. "So, so, sorry…"

"No Bella," she sobbed, "don't say that to me. When I wake up-" I froze-" I don't want to forget that _I'm _the one who did this to you, Bella Swan, and nothing's ever going to stop me from feeling guilty. I-"

I had stopped listening at this point then.

I remembered how when Edward had returned, I had believed he was a dream as well. And now when _I _was back- for real-, my Mom believed I was only a dream.

And so, I wondered, did I do the same thing to her, as he had done to me?

For all these years- though I'd only had months?

Biting my lip, I struggled not to make the tears fall.

This was all my fault.

_Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you _

When you think everything's okay and everything's going right  
And life has a funny way of helping you out when  
You think evertyhing's gone wrong and everything blows up  
In your face

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**Rosalie's View-

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**

I had met Edward in Jacksonville soon enough, locating Bella's Mom's house.

"What happened to Alice," he asked, seeing me as he stepped off of his flight.

"She called your girlfriend a bitch," I laughed, seeing his shocked reaction.

"She did?" he asked, unbelievingly.

"She's really protective of you," I smiled, knowing it to be true.

"Oh," he blinked, "do you have the address?"

"Right here," I smiled, patting my pocket, and began to lead the way to the exit.

"Why are you here Rose," he asked, his voice suddenly wistful.

"The same reason you are," I laughed, throwing back my hair. "I love her too Edward, same as you, and even though you don't really have the guts to do anything besides go psycho," I snickered.

"That's not even funny Rose," he said, seriously, although he was smiling. I laughed at the fact that even he acknowledged it.

"Let's go lover boy," I grinned, jumpstarting the car and heading towards Ms. Swan's current residence.

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**Bella's View-

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"Mom," I began. "I've been in India for the past few years. I haven't been able to contact anyone," I lied. 'But I learned Hindi," I chirped, beginning my rant on 'Hi, my name's Bella. I'm from some foreign land'- "You can't just say the United States there Mom," I elaborated, seeing her confused expression. "They don't believe what the United States does is right, and are really against a lot of the people from the town I came from. I-"

"Why now?" she asked, interrupting me, her voice barely a whisper. "Why did you come back now Bella, why not before?"

Biting my lip, I decided to tell her the truth. "Someone found me and helped bring me back," I said, not sure if I could say the name.

"Who Bella?" she asked eagerly. "If not yourself, then who? How did you escape the traffickers? Did your plastic surgeon help you?"

"Edward," I gulped, feeling my eyes begin to get wet. "He saved me."

"Edward?" she asked, looking back to see if she remembered the name. 'Your boyfriend," she gasped. "Was he one of the traffickers? I always knew he wasn't good. He-"

"Just stop Mom," I begged. "Can we _please _get off this subject?" I knew hearing his name one more time, and I would start crying.

"He did, didn't he," she snapped, believing she'd just unraveled the truth. "He sold you to them, didn't he? He, I swear Bella, he will pay for what he's done and I will person-"

"Just stop it Mom,' I cried, biting down on my lip. "He _saved _me from India, that's _all! _I swear!"

Why wasn't she listening, I wanted to ask?? Didn't she realize that I didn't want to talk about this- that he wasn't part of my life anymore? That I could face him, not here- not now? Why didn't she?

_When you think everything's okay and everything's going right  
And life has a funny way of helping you out when  
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up  
In your face_

"Tell me the truth Bella, you know I'm always here,' she cried as tears were springing from her eyes. I knew I had caused them. I knew I had to tell her the truth now- at least part wise. For I knew, the only reason I'd come, is that she would know what to do.

"Mom,' I sighed, starting. "He proposed to me, and I don't know what to do. He-"

"He _proposed?" _I nodded. "He came all the way to India, from wherever he was- last I heard in Europe somewhere- saved you, and proposed? After all these years?"

"He loved me," I stated. "And I loved him and all, but I was never sure what to do. I-"

"What does your heart tell you to do?" she asked, suddenly sympathetic. And I knew I was right in coming to her, for she always knew what to do. What to say. The only problem was that I didn't even _know _what my heart was telling me to do. I was so lost.

"I don't know," I cried, covering my face in my hands. "I really don't know."

"Do you think you can spend the rest of your life with him?" she asked, removing my hands. "Do you love him enough for that?"

"More than ever," I cried. "More than ever."

"Then what's the problem?" she asked, confused.

"Remember when he left me Mom," I asked, "I think he'll do it again. He'll-"

"Do you _believe _he'd leave you Bella, after your married?"

"No," I shook my head, not knowing what to do. "Why are you quizzing me like this?" I asked, exasperated, knowing of course, that this was the only reason I'd come back. Suddenly, the doorbell rang then, and I got up.

"Phil'll get it. And just to help you sweetie," she said, getting up. "Do you want ice cream, that always helps you know?"

"No," I shook my head, suddenly realizing something. "I don't think I do."

"Anything else then?" she asked, hopeful.

"Hey Mom," I asked, suddenly curious. "What made you accept Phil's proposal?"

"He makes me happy Bella,' she clarified, smiling. "And he'd do anything for me. As I believe your Edward would do for you. Following you to Phoenix and all that, I recall. He-"

"But I don't trust myself with him,' I said, gulping. "What if he doesn't love me anymore? What if he got so mad that he-"

"Do you purely believe this would happen?" she asked, holding my face in her hands. "I know this is why you came back Bella, you can't hide it from me. But do you really believe this would happen- honestly?"

"Honestly,' I began, "I don't know _what _would happen. I don't know Mom,' I said, "I'm just so confused. I-"

"Do you love me?" someone asked, causing me to jump.

"I don't know,' I said, avoiding looking at his face, knowing he was here. "_Damn _you Rosalie," I cursed, whispering too low for my mom to here. 'Seriously- damn you."

She laughed. "I'm only doing what's best for you," she replied, matching my tone, looking down to meet my gaze.

"I don't think you are,' I shook my head. 'He's-" then I realized he was there.

"Do you?" he asked, ignoring our conversation. "Do you-"

"I'll leave you two to sort it out," Renee shook her head, gesturing Rosalie to come with her. "But Bella'll know what to do. Won't you Bella?" she asked, glancing once at me. Telling me to say yes- to follow my heart. Rosalie did the same.

I wanted to beg them not to leave, face on the ground and everything. Didn't they realize what they were doing was wrong? I _couldn't _face him.

I couldn't lie to him.

Couldn't tell him I loved him.

Because as much as I did, I didn't want to get hurt.

Not again.

And I certainly didn't want to be the one doing it.

_When you think everything's okay and everything's going right  
And life has a funny way of helping you out when  
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up  
In your face

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**NOTE: Last chapter really WILL be posted VERY soon-**

**A few days (live five), and I'll update- review though…it might be BEFORE five days (If I get enough reviews of course, lol)**

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**ONE CHAPTER LEFT!!**

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	17. COMPLETE! Falling asleep

**MEMO: Time for all those long author notes you guys get at the end of stories, lol- but I'm sorry, I have to have it here.

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**This started out as the story, my second one, that was ridiculed so much at the beginning for the ridiculous idea of Bella committing suicide. I was given doubts, and told that Bella would never be like that. There were barely any hits quite a few chapters after that, sadly. But now- what do I find?? You guys are my MOST FAVORITE group!! Seriously- I've never had more positive feedback ever. This has got to be my most successful story ever- and I have to thank you guys SOOO much for it-**

**I swear, the only reason you guys weren't getting an earlier updating is because I keep postponing this. You have NO idea how sad this makes me!! **

**Seriously- I HATE parting with you guys, and I can't really continue off of this…you'll see why at the end.

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**It's my fairytale happy ending, personally- I'll have another note for that at the end.**

**Love you guys SOOO much, honestly- and I'll miss you guys so much too!!-**

**Disclaimer; There will be NO sequel!!**

**In addition, I'm using the same parts to the song I used last time- Ironic by Alanis Morisette!!****

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**Bella's View-

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_When you think everything's okay and everything's going right  
And life has a funny way of helping you out when  
You think evertyhing's gone wrong and everything blows up  
In your face_

"Thanks Mom,' I sighed, getting up and ready to leave. "Don't I have seventy- four days," I asked him, raising an eyebrow. "Before I give you an answer?"

"You do," he grinned crookedly- the one I loved. "I'm sorry."

"Do you want to go for a walk?" I asked suddenly, looking up to him hopefully. _Shut up, _I shouted to myself, _shut up- you're such an idiot!_

"Sure," he smiled. "Midnight would be a great time for it."

Blushing, I looked down to my hands. "Let's go,' I closed my eyes and smiled, looking up to him for a nod- and the grin. The perfectly crooked grin.

And now, I realized, in all my life- strangely enough-, I was never as happy as I was this moment. I was with him- my somewhat-boyfriend soon to be something more I hoped. My Mom, I thought- at last. And my best friend- Rosalie- and sister.

Edward was right there, beside me, like that day in the woods, I recalled…

After several moments of silentness, uniting my hand in his own as we observed the sky- brightened by the stars, the moon casting shyly overhead. The sky, a perfect touch of nighttime blue, had portrayed an image that not even nowadays computers could represent.

"The world without Edison,' Charlie, I remembered, had once commented. I still needed to contact him, but that I knew, would be for tomorrow. Today was for Renee. Tomorrow for Charlie. And every moment in between, I knew, it was for confusion.

Edward squeezed my hand so tightly that I thought I had inured it as I looked over at him, questioningly. I knew he was surprised that I was letting him do this, same with myself. I wasn't even sure if I loved him. Trying to meet his gaze though, trying to understand what he thought gave him the permission to do this, I noticed he wasn't even with me right now- with his head up, looking at the sky with the utmost desperation. His eyes seemed to be beyond the beauty however, as it seemed as thought he was concentrating on something very hard, figuring out a problem without the slightest hint of frustration- but by the exact opposite- amazement.

I didn't want to break the silence, break his concentration, nor wake up to find this was all a dream, that I was in Mr. Banner's biology class still, trying to figure out what was wrong with my partner, dreaming up a ridiculous next-four-years course for myself with an even more ridiculous explanation. And so instead, I just stared up at him, wordlessly. His tall frame towering over mine at only five foot four, with his extending at six foot one- it was kind of embarrassing, I remembered, shaking my head. I didn't want to distract myself from this perfect moment with my useless thoughts.

Now in the moonlight, where I couldn't see his face as clearly, my blurred eyes looking up at him sheepishly, I found that even now the tears never seemed to go away.

"Bella,' he said, hesitantly at first, breaking the silence.

"_What does your heart tell you to do?" Renee had asked, sympathetically._

"_I don't know," I had cried, covering my face in my hands. "I really don't know."_

"_Do you think you can spend the rest of your life with him?" she asked, removing my hands. "Do you love him enough for that?"_

"_More than ever," I had cried. "More than ever."_

"_Then what's the problem?" she asked, confused. I realized now I was too. _

"Remember when he left me Mom," I had asked, "I think he'll do it again. He'll-"

"Do you _believe _he'd leave you Bella, after your married?"

"No," I shook my head, not knowing what else to say at the time. Acknowledging it then too, as well as I did now. He wouldn't leave me- but I'd leave him.

"Do you love me," he had asked, stepping into our conversation then.

Now- it was only now- that I realized I truly did.

"What?" I asked, turning my eyes away from his to look at the stars. I didn't want to meet his gaze, not knowing what I would find there, what he'd find in mine. His expression was still thoughtful though, as if calculating numbers in his head. Like the time he'd first proposed, I remembered, and then shook my head. Seventy-three more days till I had to give an answer, I gulped. And if the rest of the seventy-three days were like this, I didn't know what I'd say.

I didn't say anything out of fear he might forget. I hated not knowing what he was thinking- whatever it may be. Whatever I would say, needed to _plan _to say before I said anything too desperate or pathetic.

"Will you marry me?" he asked, startling me.

"Why?" I demanded, pleased- but not showing it as the outcome of my silence. "Didn't I tell you, less than five minutes ago, that I still have seventy-three days left?"

"Can't stop a guy for trying,' he laughed, and then continued. "Well, I for one am in love," he began, taking my and up to his own. _Stupid Bella, _I wanted to say to myself, _letting him do this- letting him continue. _"But I wasn't sure about the girl."

"Not a guy?" I teased, laughing. I wouldn't blame him of course, if he wanted to tell me he was gay- just like I'd expected him to so many times before. He just grinned helf-heartidly, as something unrecognizable shone in his eyes at my suggestion. "What if you're right about the girl's feelings?" I challenged, whispering beside him.

"What if I am?" he retorted, the curiousity I knew he tried to keep hidden in his voice appeared easily anyway. Along with the pain. I could sense that at the beginning.

"Do you regret saving my life?" I grimaced, beside him.

"I really wasn't risking anything." he added. "And with the Volturi so long ago- not really, even though I wasn't risking anything _then _either."

"How about your sanity?" I asked, raising an eyebrow and he laughed. "Wow then," I mused. "Risking your life from a girl that probably doesn't even love you- how does that fit into your schedule?"

"Quite fine actually." I could feel his hand in mine become numb. He believed what I was saying. This was the third or fourth time I was confronting him with this, the first of course when I believed I was dreaming back in Forks. The next in Tokyo. Back inside. And now here- less than five minutes later. I wasn't even ready. I didn't know why I was letting him do this.

"Well sorry then," I murmured, squeezing his fingers within my own. "You can regret it later in twenty years when you're sick of me."

"And," he put on.

"And when I've already made you endure fifty added years with me,' I continued, gulping. "Married."

"Well then," he started. "I guess that pu-"

_It's like rain on your wedding day  
It's a free ride when you've already paid  
It's the good advice that you just didn't take  
Who would've thought... it figures  
Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly  
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye  
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight  
And as the plane crashed down he thought  
"Well, isn't this nice." And Isn't this ironic ... don't you  
think?_

But I cut him off immeidately pushing him closer to me and pressing my lips to his. It was one of those long and hard kisses, espically for the long part. That when I opened my eyes, the rain playing slightly on my forhead- I didn't even remember a rain- that I saw him.

Looking at him, in a black tux, and then down at myself- the expectant faces of the crowd- I realized where I was.

And then I looked down at my watch- how could I bare to part with it? Apparently it was broken for it had already been fitfty years- 2056 actually, according to my watch.

"What?" I asked, both dazed and confused.

"Nope," he grinned, immeidatley knowing what I meant, cupping my face in his hands ever so gently, and then silencing me with his lips. The only problem that I came to find is that I didn't remember waking out of that one.

* * *

**Memo: Isn't this every girls dream?? To never wake up- to fall in love and never realize what happens to her…to be so utterly happy that you never know what happens around you??**

**I wont't explain what the last part means, you'll figure that out for yourself- perhaps when you read it, but I know there will be others who won't understand- perhaps will remember this after about twenty years or something!!**

**Those who remember it then to tell me **

**I want to know what you guys thought!**

**Seriously- Merci (French), Gracias (Spanish), Shookria (Urdu), Shook ran (Arabic), Domoo Arigatoo Gozimasu (Japanese), and in English Thank you so very, very much!!**

**Please tell me what y ou guys thought of this, I'd so like to know- especially the lasst part!!**

**I'll miss you guys so much!!**

**I swear to you, lol, I've had it written on my hand for me to update- but I haven't because I don't want to end this. But I know I have to, and so I'm seriously going to miss you guys-**

**Zinthafan!!**

**Once and for all- at least in this story!!**


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